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How long is 'it's just a phase'??

(4 Posts)
user1472662923 Sun 05-Mar-17 19:41:03

Hello everyone, my 26 month old is COMPLETELY attached to her dad and it's driving me nuts. I know many mum's reading this would love to have more time themselves, but my dd shuns and kicks me away when I try to do anything for her when dh is about. Sometimes, in fact often, she gets so upset that she cries and cries and repeatedly smacks herself in the face. Why is it like this folks? Have I done something wrong? Just a bit of background - she was born prematurely at 29 weeks and spent 2 months in special care. She had very bad reflux until around 8 months. I expressed milk from birth (she couldn't suckle due to being so prem) then I tried to b/f when she came home but switched to bottle from around 5 months as it hurt so much and due to her reflux. I had a further 13 months on maternity with her then returned to work 3 days a week. On the 2 days I have her she is very good for me and we have loads of fun. It's like she likes me the more time I spend with her. Re the attachment to her dad, everyone says it's just a phase but it started over a year ago and there seems to be no signs that it will change. Does she just prefer her dad to me? Does anyone know how long this might last, could it just continue forever? Just wish I could understand the psychology behind it and know what caused or causes it.

TheManicMummy Tue 07-Mar-17 17:03:22

Do you have just the one child? I have two children a boy and a girl. My boy is all for his dad, loves playing with him more than me but he is at work all day and really misses him.

My girl, she's always been attached to me. Loves attention from me, if she's hurt or tired she runs to me. Same as my son, if he's hurt himself or tired he'll run to his dad. I think every child has a bit of a preference ? I know how you feel though with my boy I often think "why don't you want me to comfort you?"

Him and his dad seem to have a special relationship - I can't get a look in xx

user1472662923 Tue 07-Mar-17 17:16:16

Hello and thanks for your reply. No I just have my daughter. Personally I just find it a bit weird that's she's so fiercely attached to her dad, I know it's natural to have a preference but from what I can gather most children change their preference every few months. She has never changed hers and her preference doesn't even seem to be waning, not one little bit. She goes absolutely nuts when her dad's about and won't have anything to do with anyone else but him. Just wondering of its some kind of attachment disorder? She often calls him mummy too 😢

TheManicMummy Tue 07-Mar-17 18:53:50

I really don't have much knowledge about attachment disorders, is dad around a lot or off to work all day? That can usually be a huge factor - I also caught my OH sneaking them bits of chocolate when I'm not around... my son is treat orientated so I'm pretty sure that makes a huge difference to who he likes more... I'm sorry I couldn't be of anymore help xx

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