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Does ignoring naughty behaviour work?

(26 Posts)
CurlyWurlyC Tue 28-Feb-17 09:46:06

My toddler isn't two until June so he's still very young. He understands a lot of what I say but not very verbal himself so when he does anything "naughty" I find it hard to discipline him to let him know what he's done is wrong?

There's really only two things he does that wind me up to the point I want to shout and that's because he's blatantly doing it on purpose because he knows it's wrong. They are tipping his bowl upside down on the floor and emptying his food out whether he's finished eating or not and similarly pouring his drink over whatever's closest and if nothing is good enough near him over himself. They probably don't sound like much but over and over and over and over again is getting a bit beyond a joke every day. I show him what he's done tell him how very naughty it is and take away whatever he's got to hand as a punishment. But now just as he's done it he shouts "mammy naughty" laughing and runs into the other room!

My mother has told me not to react at all to it as that's why he's doing it, if he doesn't get a good enough reaction it soon won't be worth doing. What do you guys think?

CurlyWurlyC Tue 28-Feb-17 09:48:08

What I don't want is by me ignoring it is for him to think that this is acceptable behaviour?

MrsJayy Tue 28-Feb-17 09:50:35

He is just a baby he does not know this is wrong or winding you up a quick no and clear up should do the trick or pre empting what he is going to do and distract and take away his bowl before he does it but dont make a huge deal as children soak up any reaction as attention.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Tue 28-Feb-17 09:50:47

It does work with this age, yes. If he tips his bowl over just clear it up with zero reaction, don't look at him or anything. Once he starts eating nicely go totally overboard with praise and tell him how well he's doing. It does work, slowly, but you have to be consistent.

SerialCerealKiller Tue 28-Feb-17 09:52:04

It does but it's not an immediate thing, and you have to pair it with lots of praise when he behaves in a positive way.

I would carry on with what you are doing but don't make a huge deal of it. Tell him it's wrong, tidy up and move on.

If you can spot he's going to do it then try jump in and distract him before he gets chance. He's only little and is just learning what he can get away with.

MrsJayy Tue 28-Feb-17 09:53:48

The drink pouring has turned into a game for him it is toing and froing dont let him run about with a drink and if he has poured it over somebody take it off him, babies dont understand lectures of naughtiness they glaze over and stop listening.

MrsJayy Tue 28-Feb-17 09:54:55

Oh yes praise the good ignore the bad

ineedwine99 Tue 28-Feb-17 09:54:59

Would something like those gyrobowls help? And a sippy cup with a vent so he has to suck to drink rather than it being able to drip out of the spout? Not helpful re the behaviour obviously but wondered if it could reduce his ability to throw his dinner etc

ineedwine99 Tue 28-Feb-17 09:56:03

www.amazon.co.uk/Babytec-Spill-Resistant-Gyro-Food/dp/B001CFCLH2?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Silverthorn Tue 28-Feb-17 09:56:43

Ds1 went through the phase. He still occasionally does it for attention when his baby Bro is getting more attention. We stopped giving him a drink unless closely supervised/ held by one of us. We got a water bottle with non spill spout. Food was often poured out when other children were eating nicely. Big praise when he eats nicely with very close supervision. Try not to react when he does tip his breakfast everywhere. Which is really hard.
You can get baby bowls with suckers on the bottom too.

amistillsexy Tue 28-Feb-17 10:04:44

No, don't ignore it. See it for what it is. Your ds isn't even 2 yet, he's still a baby really, and he's learning all sorts very day. It sounds a st hough he's tipping things up, which teaches him about what happens when you tip things up. Everything he tips up will react differently...watr, milk, baked beans. ..They all fall in different ways and at different rates, and make a different splat pattern when they and. He likes this, and its good for him to learn it. HOWEVER, he also needs to learn when and where to do it! Ie, not at the table and onto the floor very meal time.
I would create lots of messy play experiences where he can experiment within this schema. Maybe sit him in a little paddling pool in his nappy with a bowl of something and a variety of cups and encourage him to ladle and team with it. Praise and encourage this type of play, but be clear that it's play time. You can also make toys where various liquids and objects are sealed Ina clear plastic bottle, which he can turn upside down and roll to observe the effect. Google 'sensory bottles ' or 'calm down bottles'. He could have one of these to distract him when eating or as a reward for keeping his food in his bowl.
At meal times, say that 'food stays in the bowl'. GI've big praise imediate lying if he keeps his food in his bowl long enough to egt a spoo full of food in. Be specivic with prqise.. 'good boy, your kept your food in your bowl! I likea that!'... If he tips it up, pick up the food and put it back in the bowl in front of him. Repeat, repeat repeat. If the food is too messy, once he's tipped it once, hold the bowl and spoon feed him, so the messy food doesnt get all over. Don't get cross, don't say it's 'naughty', since that's also teaching him that his actions get a reaction. Simply repeat 'food stays in the bowl' and remove the bowl if he tips it up. Also, feed in a high chair in the middle of the floor on a washable plastic mat. This saved my sanity!
Don't let this worry you too much. This phase doesnt last long, and will soon be replaced by another. The important thing is to recognise what your child is learning each time, and decide what you need to be teaching him...do you want to teach him that he's 'naughty' or encourage him to learn things through appropriate play? Remember, you are in control, and you are in charge! Good luck!

amistillsexy Tue 28-Feb-17 10:07:21

Just reread my post. Sorry for typos...just had hand surgery so fingers not working and tablet has a mind of its own! Hope it's legible!

CurlyWurlyC Tue 28-Feb-17 10:10:53

Thanks for the advice! Those bowls look amazing I'll have to try them! And he doesn't really like to drink out of a soppy cup but I'll give that another go too 👌🏼

Amistillsexy completely understand it smile sounds like a good fun (albeit messy) idea I'm sure he'll love, you don't think this will let him think it's allowed though and confuse him so young? I mean the tub and pouring/ladling station? I've looked into a lot of messy play ideas as I love the look of them - im just a bit scared to try! grin

MrsJayy Tue 28-Feb-17 10:16:37

Messy play is great fun get stuck into it op your son will have great fun. My favourite is gloop just corn flour and water big bowl keeps them enterained for ages.

ineedwine99 Tue 28-Feb-17 10:25:34

Not really sure how these work but they have good reviews 😊
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B0158YQYWU/ref=mh_s9_acsd_simh_b44YR5_c_x_2_w?pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_s=mobile-hybrid-3&pf_rd_r=G7YT03Z9YZZ03H88HBFD&pf_rd_t=30901&pf_rd_p=4ae06dce-ec15-5278-bc14-15726f64af43&pf_rd_i=60191031&tag=mumsnetforum-21

CurlyWurlyC Tue 28-Feb-17 10:48:15

Ineedwine99 I've tried these and the child needs to bite (quite hard) on the side of the cup for any fluid to come out, it was really difficult to drink from when I tried it myself! The ideas good in theory but it just didn't work well for us. Just ordered one of the gyro-bowls though they look fab!

CurlyWurlyC Tue 28-Feb-17 10:48:48

If the reviews were good maybe we just need a bit more practice 😂

Tfoot75 Tue 28-Feb-17 10:55:59

He's not doing it to be naughty he's doing it for your reaction at that age. If there's no consequences there's no point telling him off and he's too young for consequences unless they are just removing the cup and the bowl. My 3.5 year old still experiments whenever she has an open cup and ends up spilling it so we still tend to give her a sippy cup most of the time (basic tommy tippee free flow). My 10mo starts to drop food when she's full, it's our cue to remove the food from her tray!

ineedwine99 Tue 28-Feb-17 11:03:34

No doubt i'll have all this to come, baby is 6 months old, I currently use bowls with suction cups on the base but i think an older child could pull them off sad

CurlyWurlyC Tue 28-Feb-17 11:10:43

Ineedwine99 Oh I wish for him to be 6 months old again! (Only joking lol) it gets so much harder, but so much better too 😊 like I say these are the only 2 things he really does "wrong" (for now lol) but yes, we've done the whole sucker bottomed bowls and it became a game to see how quickly he could pull it off 🙈😂 cue flying spaghetti as it pings off the table 😂

Thanks everyone for the input. Going to try to hold my dispare next time this happens, and introduce some messy play too. Might start a new thread at nap time for messy play inspiration lol x

LillyBugg Tue 28-Feb-17 11:14:50

We have those cups OP and you don't have to bite them at all? You just suck on the edge and the water comes out. We are still using the toddler one at 2.5 when out and about.
I would also just remove the opportunity for such behaviour at that age. They don't understand it's wrong. So we used silly cups and sticky bowls. And a lot of distraction!

LillyBugg Tue 28-Feb-17 11:15:06

Silly cups??!! Sippy cups.

CurlyWurlyC Tue 28-Feb-17 11:22:47

Lillybug judging by the reviews on amazon either we happened to get a dodgy one or we weren't using it properly, honestly I had to nip the hing myself with my teeth to get any sort of water flow?! I'll try again with another one as just got our old one back out to re-test and it really doesn't work? Thanks Hun x

MyschoolMyrules Tue 28-Feb-17 11:30:45

I think that telling a two year old that it's very naughty definitely won't work. Don't try to explain. But keeping a close eye on him and stop him from doing it, and if he does it to say a firm No with clear body language and firm tone of voice (as in Mummy is not happy...) would be better! And you have to be very concistant about it. Ignoring sends just a grey message in this case I am afraid...

VikingLady Tue 28-Feb-17 11:37:59

It also helps to put a lot less in the bowl and top up as needed. Less to clean up, and less fun to splash for him!

With both of mine I tend to keep their drink by me and just pass it to them for them to have a quick drink, then put it back by me. Reduces the temptation. And only an inch or so, topped up as required.

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