constant fighting is destroying me

[smilingsarahb]

My two boys fight horribly, if I am occupied for more than 10 minutes it starts and if I don't catch it at the right point (am out the room, in shower, take a phone call ) it escalates and I can't stop it until something is broken or someone us hurt. It's like they go onto a frenzy and can only see/hear each other. Once like this if I try and get them doing different thing, engage them in the same thing etc nothing gets through.

If I physically seperate them, the youngest will attack me and throw toys around and move the argument to me. The eldest will then calm down if I can keep them apart for long enough say 20 mins but it's really hard as they try and get back to each other. The fights last up to two hours of really nasty words, things being thrown destroying each others stuff. It's not just silly play fights which are fine. I feel like giving up basically. I have no ideas and an currently hiding in my wardrobe crying. We were meant to go to the skatepark this morning and the kids chose to fight as better entertainment.

I did have a sibling growing up but relationships were tense and actually foster care and residential homes were involved and I wonder if this is making things worse for me emotionally. My friends say just to leave them to it, but I vividly remember being bullied by my sibling and noone helping me.

The children do get on at other times. Do well and school, have perfect parents eves for attitude and behaviour but twice a week these frenzies start.