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Potty training, wet 1 year on. Attention seeking!

(3 Posts)
CradleCrapNap Wed 22-Feb-17 09:42:41

Help. This is a long story. We were trying to wait as long as possible to potty train DD1. She was an only child at that time and whilst she seemed ready from a wee point of view, she would only poo standing up in a nappy. I read loads of threads on mums with similar kids who said the poo thing could last as long as 4/older so to go ahead and train and just accept the mess! So we did. She did well and after a few times ignoring the poo mess, she started to poo on the potty too. Great. Unfortunately I was now 7 months pregnant. A year has passed Since we started and she has numerous dry periods and no poo accidents ever. However, she consistently has periods where she Wets herself. Sometimes she will admit it and ask 'are you angry mummy'? Have to admit I have got angry with her a few times, partly because I know she knows to go, and mostly because a lot of the time she doesn't tell me or anyone she is wet. She just sits in wet knickers and gets sore! It's infuriating. She is 4 in June. Surely they don't enjoy sitting in wet clothes? Why would they do that?
If I ask her if she needs the loo, she gets angry, says no, then wees herself moments later.
We tried sticker charts and rewards in the early days. She wasn't interested after a day or two of stickers, she only wanted the reward, and every time we tried to wean off them (you can't give choc/toys forever), she would wet again, so we told her categorically no more rewards.
Have tried things like not taking spare clothes to soft play and having to leave. She gets a bit upset but just comes home, changes and plays here.
The only thing that gets her dry again is totally ignoring the accident and just cleaning it up, without speaking, but she still starts wetting again. I think a lot of it is for attention since the baby came, and I try my hardest to make time to play and give her what she needs but it is never enough. 😩 She wants to play being a baby a lot and this could be the problem. Anyone been there???

Bejeena Wed 22-Feb-17 16:25:14

I am there now. It has been a year and will also be 4 in July. You are not alone at the end of that rope. Mine is pretty good on poos though we just have wees. It has been same periods of weeks completely dry then starts again. Arghhhhh

Since yesterday we have been ignoring it all and trying to tell him it is his choice in the hope that it works, third change of pants so far today. So he can also decide to stay wet if he likes. I don't know if this approach will work but we are willing to try anything.

CradleCrapNap Thu 23-Feb-17 20:03:10

She has mastered poos too, surprisingly after seeming like that would be the stumbling block. She (touches wood) never has a poo accident. Only wees. Exactly the same boat as you! Ignoring it is the only thing that works. I go as far as to guide her to lay down, silently take clothes off, clean, change, all the while she is saying I'm ever increasing volume 'mummy....MUMMY! Why aren't you talking to me'? Then when done, carry on like nothing happened. Sadly it only ever works for a while and this behaviour creeps back in. I've seriously had enough. To the point where I don't want to even play with her any more. I just have no energy for her when she winds me up so much.

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