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4 year old sudden change in behaviour/mood

(12 Posts)
Kbuck93 Thu 16-Feb-17 13:10:38

Hi, this is my first post.

My son turned 4 in November. Back then I would describe him as the outgoing, happy, social one out of my 2 children (he has a little sister 13 months younger than him).

The change happened I'd say around the middle of December. I really noticed it in January as we were trying to get back into normal routines - back to nursery etc.

The biggest difference I've noticed is he flat out does not want to visit my nana and grandad anymore (his great grandparents). Usually him and his sister go to their house after nursery every Tuesday and Thursday. The other days they still visit but I go too. Since starting back at nursery in January, each Tuesday and Thursday my grandparents pick him up and he cries straight away to come home. On the other days we knock on to do our usual visit and he will cry and pull me away until we go home. He doesn't even want to go in their house. This is very unusual for him as both him and his sister have done this since they were very young babies. My daughter still goes and cries to visit them alot of the time. They have always been very close to them.

Most of the time he just wants to be at home. We regularly go out during the week for tea and play dates, and we go out at least one day at the weekend. DS doesn't want to anymore. He cries and refuses to leave the house. We do persist and once we get out and to for example the museum, he loves it. But he's always eager to get back home.

What's strange to me is I thought out of both my children I would be making a post like this about my daughter. Up until her turning 3 (In December) she has been very shy, quite a loner, and very quiet. I suffered from social anxiety throughout all my childhood so I have always worried my daughter would be the same as she did show signs of it. Since she turned 3 she has excelled so much, she is not half as shy, much more social and adventurous. I feel as though they have completely changed places. Obviously I'm glad my daughter has developed this way, but I feel as though DS is regressing instead of progressing. It makes me sad to see him so withdrawn and seemingly unhappy.

I guess I wondered if anyone had any advice or had experienced similar? I want to help him in any way I can, and I really want to see him back to the bubbly, happy child I know!

DeterminedToChange Thu 16-Feb-17 13:13:41

You might want MNHQ to change his name there, OP. I've reported it for you.

DeterminedToChange Thu 16-Feb-17 13:15:24

If you talk to him about his grandparents, what does he say? Does he give any reasons why he doesn't want to go?

Kbuck93 Thu 16-Feb-17 13:23:24

Thankyou - I didn't think.

I've tried gently asking him, he says he wants to be with me (or his dad when he's home from work) instead. He doesn't give any specific reason why. He has visited them with his dad a week or so ago and was fine. I had hoped after that he'd want to visit more but he doesn't. He seems very tired alot of the time. Not tired as though he needs sleep, just lethargic. He sits around at home and doesn't play like he used to. It sounds crazy but it's like he's depressed.

DeterminedToChange Thu 16-Feb-17 13:25:48

I would go to the GP about him. It is possible for very young children to suffer from depression. It must be horrible for him. Would you be able to go into the doctor's beforehand to explain things, so that he doesn't overhear that part? Or put it in writing?

HVB79 Thu 16-Feb-17 13:32:46

Poor you, that sounds tough. Are you sure nothing has happened there to put him off, like maybe being told off for something? Maybe he is doing more learning rather than playing at nursery now and needs some down time afterwards rather than going out somewhere else every day? I hope he feels better soon.

HVB79 Thu 16-Feb-17 13:32:46

Poor you, that sounds tough. Are you sure nothing has happened there to put him off, like maybe being told off for something? Maybe he is doing more learning rather than playing at nursery now and needs some down time afterwards rather than going out somewhere else every day? I hope he feels better soon.

Kbuck93 Thu 16-Feb-17 13:54:33

I am going to visit the GP with him, hopefully tomorrow. My husband finishes work early on Fridays so he can come with us and I might go into the doctor on my own first to explain.

He does seem most tired after nursery, but before this I used to joke about where he got his energy from as he literally never stopped and I struggled to get him to sleep too. I'm wondering whether he may have become anemic or something like that.

I've thought he may have been told off there but since he's like this not just with regards to going to his grandparents I think it might be something more if that makes sense. We have to visit my dad soon and I know I will have a hard time getting him to go out, even with the persuasion of my dad getting him mcdonalds and a new toy. I've been hoping it's just a phase he's been going through but as time goes on and he's missing out on things because he doesn't want to go out, it makes me more and more concerned.

ScoobyDoosTinklyLaugh Thu 16-Feb-17 15:28:22

I went a bit weird like this as a child, it was a side effect from asthma medication. Has he started anything new?

ScoobyDoosTinklyLaugh Thu 16-Feb-17 15:29:19

Poor boy flowers I hope you get to the bottom of it.

beereyt Sun 19-Feb-17 23:01:48

I could have written this. My DS turned 4 in Jan and i don't know what to do with him. He also is very aggressive if we try and do any of the things he doesn't want to. I was thinking the same about anaemia. Did the dr shed any light on things?

Carrie76 Tue 21-Feb-17 20:01:51

I have a 4.5 year old who I feel hasn't been himself for months. He's pale, lethargic and can get very agressive. After been fobbed off many times by the GP I took home to a Paedatrician. She arranged for bloods to be done. Turns out he's low in iron and has glandular fever. He's on iron for 3 months, nothing can be done for the GF takes 6-12 months to leave the system.

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