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Any tips for toughening up ds (age 9)??

(6 Posts)
jennymac Fri 03-Feb-17 17:25:39

My ds (whilst the most adorable boy in the world!) can be such a baby that it drives me crazy. To give an example, dh just had him at the dentist. Because he has asthma and tends to be a mouth breather, he tends to get a build up of plaque on his bottom 2 teeth no matter how well he brushes. He makes such a fuss when the dentist scrapes it off, it is embarrassing. Likewise, if he hurts himself, he will really go on about it and when playing football etc I can tell he holds himself back in case he gets hurt. I would never have made a fuss when he was young when he fell - just gave him a quick hug and told him he was fine so don't understand why he is like this. My dd (10) has always been a real wee toughie so maybe he just seems particularly bad compared to her but it drives me crazy. Can kids be toughened up a bit or do I just have to accept that this is the way he is? I keep telling dh he will grow out of it but beginning to think now that he never will!

languagelearner Fri 03-Feb-17 17:32:10

He will probably grow out of it. Spend more time with your son, and give praise when he does something right. It's a classic, to spot when someone is doing something right, and give praise. Never compare with someone else.

Crumbs1 Fri 03-Feb-17 17:46:12

Rugby transformed my boys.

feelingAncient Fri 03-Feb-17 17:50:18

To be honest I praise my kids for good work in school or things like that but I would never praise them for not crying when they cut their knee or something.

Put him into beavers or cubs can't remember what age group he should be in. They won't have time for his complaining and just won't listen it will toughen him up and it's fun. How is he at school? If he hurts himself will he sit with the teacher for the rest of the day? I'd just send him out more as well do things that will make him fall so he gets used it and don't hug him just say come on get up your fine. Of course if they're actually really hurt help but if it's just a little bang leave it and keep walking on.

I haven't had this issue personally as I have 4 kids 2 of each so they're always getting hit by TV remotesblush but all mine did either scouts or girl guides and all tough emotionally and physically.

BToperator Fri 03-Feb-17 17:54:10

I wonder if it is an age thing. My DS is similar at the moment. He had absolute hysterics like a toddler a few days ago when he decided he was scared to go upstairs on his own for no apparent reason. When he hurts himself at football, you'd think he was being killed. I don't have any answers I'm afraid, but I feel your pain!

jennymac Tue 07-Feb-17 14:09:48

He is fine at school - I think he doesn't react because he wouldn't want to be teased by friends. Same at football but my dh coaches his team and can see that while his skills are really good, he would hold himself back from getting stuck in, probably because of fear of getting hurt. He is very small for his age so not sure if that has anything to do with it, plus no brothers or cousins living near by so probably not as used to the rough and tumble side of things as other boys may be. We have always noticed that he is cautious by nature - took him a while to like riding his bike, scared of falling off etc.

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