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Behaviour/development

28 month old not talking to children.

5 replies

MrsSunshine27 · 02/02/2017 10:09

Hi everyone.
My daughter is nearly 29 months. She attends preschool 2 mornings per week and is an only child. I work PT and apart from her 2 mornings in preschool, she is with Grandparents when I am in work.
Yesterday her key worker told me she has concerns she isn't communicating with the other children and just happily plays beside them. She said she is fine being around them but prefers to speak to the adults.
I thought parallel play at this age was normal but her key worker used the term "social delay".
Her key worker said she'll come up to the adults for a chat, to ask for help or for a cuddle but doesn't interact with the children.
When I drop her off at preschool she is always really excited to go in and will run around with the playground with them when waiting to go in. Her speech is fine and all other milestones are fine.
I had awful post natal anxiety when my daughter was born and still battle it to a degree, our 2nd child is due next month and I just feel really anxious now that I've missed something!
At what age do they start talking to other children?
Thanks everyone

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duzzlightyearsmum · 02/02/2017 10:18

Didn't want this to go unanswered as I know it can be really worrying! I work in early years in fact with 2-3 year olds so I've got a few points I'd like to suggest:

  1. ask her key worker for more info. We would never suggest a delay on the basis of one thing so ie does she interact nicely in all other ways? Is she able to share/copy/generally play in a friendly way?
  2. following on from this do they have other concerns about her social behaviour? I wouldn't think this should their only worry if they've mentioned it to you but if it is I personally feel they're being a bit hasty.
  3. have you seen her around other children her age? What is she like then? Or is she only ever around adults so feels unsure? Is this a confidence issue?

    If you are concerned I urge you to speak to her key worker and ask for a meeting to discuss it fully which she should oblige. Parallel play is perfectly normal at her age and if she is talking and seems to interact well otherwise I wouldn't be worried myself!
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MrsSunshine27 · 02/02/2017 11:51

Thank you for your reply.
To be fair, it was me who approached them and asked how she was getting on rather than them taking me to one side. Her key worker said she plays nicely beside other children and likes being in their company but doesn't speak to them. She didn't mention about copying but I've seen her copying children myself.
I've seen her around children if we get a chance to go to a toddler group and she just kind of keeps herself to herself, if another child joins her when she's playing with something like a toy kitchen then she won't run off, and sometimes will walk up to a group of children and join in playing with what they are playing with. Apart from that she is usually only ever around adults. x

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duzzlightyearsmum · 02/02/2017 12:25

To me that doesn't sound that atypical we have several children in our setting who sound very similar to her and we have no real concerns about them.
Generally in my opinion to warrant concerns about an actual delay I would be looking for an actual inability to play near or around or strong dislike for playing near or around other children. Obviously without seeing each child it's hard to say for sure but on the basis of what you've said I wouldn't be concerned.
Perhaps her key worker used 'delay' rather loosely meaning that at lot of the others are talking to their friends but she isn't quite rather than meaning there was an actual problem iyswim?

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llangennith · 02/02/2017 12:36

Not unusual at all. Adults are more interesting, talk more clearly, will listen to your DD. She'll interact with other children and talk to them when she wants to.

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Bubbinsmakesthree · 02/02/2017 21:30

My son is 30 months and I have only noticed really clear examples of him playing with (as oppose to alongside) other children in the last month. He now seems to be going through an enthusiastically social phase, it has changed quite rapidly.

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