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10 year old ds unable to sleep anxiety/puberty?

(3 Posts)
Mammy2two Sun 29-Jan-17 23:35:18

Hi, my DS who is 10 recently broke down in tears one night after admitting on a sleep over 1 year ago an older boy played 'porn'. He said he hasn't been able to sleep and been upset as it was on his mind. He was better after telling us.
A few nights ago he came down again in tears, because he was thinking about sex. I explained it was normal as he may be going through puberty and we had the 'chat' . He seemed fine after that. Tonight he was unable to sleep again after saying a few weeks ago he would just start thinking about people having sex and he didn't want those thoughts. He said people like his family including me and his dad. I explained it's normal because of mixed emotions/thoughts with puberty.
Has anyone experienced this with their son? Is it normal starting of puberty or is it more of an anxiety he has stopping him from getting to sleep? Im new here and would appreciate any advice as I'm starting to worry for him myself now, I don't like the thought of my 10 year old not being able to sleep and being anxious about things, thanks

Blu99 Mon 30-Jan-17 05:33:39

I think your ds has the typical innocence of most 10 year old children. He may have previously been aware of the 'birds and the bees' but watching something so graphic at his tender age can be damaging. Even after explaining that it's natural etc that's not what a lot of porn represents. I was exposed to porn at the same age and I found it quite shocking. I experienced the same sort of thoughts and found it really upsetting. I'm sure he'd rather be thinking about his favourite game or what he'll be doing tomorrow but then suddenly his mind will be flooded with 'rude' thoughts or images. It will feel wrong to him because he can't control the content - worse when he's going to sleep because he's alone and just thinking. Watching the actual act compared to having a mild conversation about sex ed are very different things. I think his reaction is him trying to understand and rationalise it in his mind. It could also be puberty but I think his worries stemmed from watching the video. Make sure he understands that porn doesn't accurately depict what a healthy relationship/courtship is. Keep encouraging him to talk it through with you and see how it goes. Answer his questions as honestly as you can and try to make sure his chances of viewing porn again are very limited. I think you've done the right thing.

Mammy2two Mon 30-Jan-17 18:19:50

Thank you @blu99 .
It didn't occur to me to explain that the porn that he seen is not how things actually are. Which explains why he might be worrying more. I've told him to come to me if he has any other questions, so I will explain it then. I just hope that this anxiety of his stops now that he has been reassured

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