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8.4 yrs dd2 @ her fiercy temper

(9 Posts)
biglips Wed 25-Jan-17 19:26:44

Age between 4 -7 yrs old, dd2 couldn't control her temper but now she can. She takes herself off to her room and do colouring, etc. But once every few weeks, her temper would go off the scale cos,she 'thinks' everyone is winding her up.

Yesterday she very quickly got the remote control when we came home from school and I said jokingly to my dd1 age 12, "wow. She is like mission impossible, so quick!" And we giggled but dd2 took it the wrong way and exploded and slam doors and punching walls. (she got a gym punch bag that she use for her muay Thai, also does football and swimming so she get all her stresses out on them).

Today she wanted my ds age 4, stick but he,didn't wanted to so I asked her if she find another stick but she went off on one..saying nasty things to me.

Her temper sometimes lasted an hour but mostly half an hour-ish.

When.she is on the behaviour chart she is good as gold and she comes off it, she is ok for a while and then explodes!!

All this cos her best mate isn't talking to her atm cos of a disagreement. She always tells me about probs but that doesn't.seem to be enough. Think she is an emotional person. but it,affecting everyone in the family that loves her dearly

What can I do? As I'm drained!.

biglips Wed 25-Jan-17 22:11:51


CoperCabana Wed 25-Jan-17 22:15:21

Haven't got any suggestions, just empathy, as DD1 aged 7.5 is exactly the same!

Jeffjefftyjeff Wed 25-Jan-17 22:23:25

When ds was this age we got a book - I think it was 'what to do when your temper flares'. We found it quite helpful in getting him to 'own' the issue and feel proud when he'd controlled things.

He was motivated to read it as there was a particularly bad incident when he did something he really regretted. Not sure if it would have been tricky (to encourage reading a book about it) otherwise.

biglips Thu 26-Jan-17 09:27:16

I can deal with the tempers as I've got 4 kids (one is a step dd) but we all cant be walking round on eggshell for everytime we laugh at something that she had done. My other kids laugh at what they had done if its funny. my dd2 just need to chill out abit and.join in instead of exploding hmm.

biglips Thu 26-Jan-17 09:28:36

But in school, she is like an angel. I've.told her last years class teacher about the temper and they thought I was talking about someone else

biglips Thu 26-Jan-17 17:37:25

Any help would be grateful x

Andro Fri 27-Jan-17 11:18:13

she 'thinks' everyone is winding her up.

I said jokingly to my dd1 age 12, "wow. She is like mission impossible, so quick!" And we giggled but dd2 took it the wrong way and exploded

my dd2 just need to chill out abit and.join in instead of exploding

You clearly know that your dd2 doesn't share the same humour as the rest of you, so why are you laughing at her? It's not funny if you're hurting the person you're laughing at, its mean - and if she's not laughing with you, you are laughing at her.

You are the adult, you need to set the right example. Your dd2 has always struggled with her temper, she's clearly worked hard to gain some control and coping strategies but that's not enough for you. She is receiving a very negative impression from you; she's the one with a problem, she's not good enough, she needs to chill and have the same humour as the rest of you - that message needs to stop.

Apologize for upsetting her, ask her about how she was feeling and why, ask her if you can help in any way but most importantly offer acceptance and support as she works on her temper without making it even harder for her.

biglips Fri 27-Jan-17 18:50:35

Andro - yes I can see where you're coming from. I did ask her before what happened and why did she lose her temper an she said that she felt everyone was laughing at her which I did apologise and I will talk to her more tmrw.

Its quite hard to explain it on here as we all get on and the kids are being kids but I've never dealt with one with a fiercy temper.

I think I know exactly what to do when I get home and talk to everyone in a group once ive.spoken to dd2 and also my dd1 to stop winding her up too which doesn't help.

Thank you everyone

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