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How best to deal with separation anxiety in 12 month old?

(4 Posts)
SleepFreeZone Sat 21-Jan-17 15:32:19

I think it's been going on a couple of months now, can't totally remember in my sleep deprived haze but it does seem to be pretty extreme at the moment. If I leave the room he is in he cries and cries, even if he is in the adjoining room and can see me, he wants me by his side constantly or holding him. He is worse as the day progresses, ie will be good for DP in the morning but by the afternoon, evening he is just crying and crying for me if I try and make dinner or go up and have a shower.

I know it's a phase but how best to handle it? There are times when I just absolutely need to get on with the day (getting myself and toddler ready for preschool) and I have no choice but to let him cry. I feel totally awful but I just can't stop everything all the time for him.

So should I just keep trying to divide by time between everyone and accept there will be times when he howls? Do I attempt to just stay in the same room as him constantly and to hell with dinner and routine? Help!

FATEdestiny Sat 21-Jan-17 17:17:28

Can he come room to room with you? Why can't he be in the kitchen with you while you make dinner? Either playing with toys on the floor or maybe in the highchair "helping" you (dry pasta in a saucepan with a spoon for mixing).

This is a phase. I found the best way to help the phase pass was by making sure child feels as secure as possible as much as possible.

Of course that's not possible absolutely every minute of the day, but on the whole I'd take baby into the bathroom with me when showering, into the kitchen when cooking, and so on. It only lasted a matter of two or three months, but not long at all.

SleepFreeZone Sat 21-Jan-17 17:41:19

It's just not always possible. In the morning I am a tornado at times trying to get the preschooler ready. We might be in the bedroom for 10 mins but then I'm running down the hallway to grab clothes, flirting into the bathroom to clean teeth, my room to get dressed etc. He can see me but I just can't take him into every room as I'm only in there momentarily IYSWIM. Instead he ends up working himself into a lather and begging to be picked up. It's really heart breaking ☹️

He hates his high chair and throws everything in the floor so I can't contain him in the kitchen. I do let him potter about but if I'm dealing with hot fat etc it's just not safe plus my partner is in the other room with his brother so he has company. He just wants me there too 😁

FATEdestiny Sat 21-Jan-17 18:34:05

If your partner is there then how about he does the cooking? grin

Or your partner maybe needs to work on engaging and distracting techniques with baby.

Aside from that, I guess all you can do is minimise how long you leave him alone. Maybe time your shower for his naptime? Do all of the 'upstairs routine' all in one go in the morning, letting baby toddle around with you.

At this age I used to nip upstairs and get myself dressed (alone!) while baby was eating breakfast in front of CBeebies.

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