Son won't let me eat dinner

[kandykane77]

Can anyone relate to this? Or help me out? DS (5 1/2) is very affectionate and compassionate and has a great big heart. Until it's time for me to eat my dinner, then he turns totally selfish - sits on my arm/knee, races around with the dog banging into my chair (we have a tiny house), bounces on his space hopper, disco dances in front of me, shouts, jumps, squeals, throws socks at the dog etc. etc. you get the picture. Some of this sounds ok but we only have one room downstairs (plus a small kitchen) so all this stuff he's doing is right in front of me. The room is split into lounge one end and play area the other end (door to kitchen in between), So half of the room is exclusively for him to go crazy in, but he comes and does all this in the lounge area where I am trying to eat. It was so bad today I took my dinner and sat outside in the rain to eat where at least it was quiet and I could move both arms. I'm at the end of my rope with this behaviour! Every other time of day he is lovely, and to be honest he's not doing anything wicked but it's like I'm just not allowed to eat my dinner. Anyone??

P.S. Just to clarify, we normally eat together and that's fine in principle but he usually finishes first and then this behaviour starts. He also sometimes eats earlier than me if he has a friend over or an activity at our normal dinner time or something.

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

"I'm trying to eat. Leave me in peace" ?
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.

[kandykane77]

Funnily enough I've tried that

[dontpokethebear]

What happens if you ignore him?

[hoddtastic]

don't let him leave the table and bollock him if he does, or move him to the stairs/out of the room and keep removing him, one day he will stop if you don't break.

or eat with him.

if he does it when a friend is there call the friends parent and send him home and show your child the consequences of it.

[kandykane77]

Either he sits on me then I physically can't eat or his crazy behaviour drives me mad and I don't feel like eating, in which case I put my food back in the kitchen and usually go outside to count to ten!

[Chippednailvarnishing]

So your 5 year old is basically controlling you?

I'd be sending him to bed early.

[kandykane77]

Hoddtastic we do eat with him but he often finishes first. He never does it when a friend is there.

[Lovelybangers]

If he finishes first he has to stay at the table.

It is good manners.

You will have to be firm with him. Age five is old enough to learn how to behave.

[Crispbutty]

Send him to his room?

Eat before him?

[kandykane77]

Yes I do punish him, early bed, time out on stairs etc. But he repeats the behaviour every day.
He is a great kid at every other time of day, I just don't get why the switch flicks at dinner time

[Crumbs1]

Yes agree he should sit at table until you tell him he may leave.

[AuditAngel]

If he can't behave in an acceptable fashion, remove him. So, either he behaves while you finish eating, or banish him.

Is there something you can bribe him with?

[dontpokethebear]

Agree with sitting at the table. The rule in our house is if you get down from the table, you're obviously finished so don't want any pudding.

[kandykane77]

We don't have a table. Tiny house is too tiny.

I remove him over and over and it makes no difference to the behaviour recurring night after night.

[Chippednailvarnishing]

How many times would you remove him in one meal?

How about he loses the TV / toy / story time?

[Noteventhebestdrummer]

Lock yourself in the bathroom and eat in there for a week then start a new much tougher regime with him if the behaviour recurs. Tell him why you're doing it.

[kandykane77]

Chipped maybe 3 times? By which time I've finished eating.
Tried removing privileges, not very effective for us just adds tears to the evening but the interrupting behaviour continues - worse actually

[kandykane77]

Not tried removing myself! Might try the bathroom, it's strangely large for a small house so i could.

[llangennith]

Have your dinner when he's in bed.

[MoonlightandMusic]

You just need to keep ignoring him until he gives up (this may take several weeks).

Also, have you tried asking him at a calmer time why he does this? While you'll probably get the shoulder shrug, it's during a calmer time it's worth saying it makes you feel sad, and then including Chipped's warning about what it will cost him (i.e. - say this first while he's able to 'hear' it, well ahead of supper-time and then expect to repeat (and repeat) when the behaviour occurs again). If you can, don't remove you from the room, remove him to his room.

Difficult one to crack though - hopefully a repetition of what you expect, and consequences for his behaviour will work (eventually).

[Crispbutty]

Get a small table with drop down leaf that you just put up at mealtimes. They really don't take up much room at all. Actually sitting at a table will make a difference I bet.

[kandykane77]

Crispbutty im on the hunt for exactly that! Trying to find a second hand one that comes with folding chairs stored away inside.

[kandykane77]

Moonlight some good advice there thank you very much

[Crispbutty]

British heart foundation furniture shops, gumtree, even freecycle are usually good. Or put an ask on the latter two and someone might have something.

[kandykane77]

Thanks crispbutty