Mum at the absolute end of my teather(5 Posts)
I need help or support or guidance. I have a 5yo girl nearly 6. She has always been a challenge right from an early age. But as time goes on instead of getting better she is getting worse.
I wouldn't even know where to begin as we are facing problems with every aspect of being a child. Behaviour, eating, sleeping, soiling, defiance. I'm so up against it with her and I don't know what to do. the school nurse and teachers are all involved but all they care about is the soiling as that is the only thing which they have to deal with. We are "in with camhs" although we have not actually heard anything from them but I'm hoping they will contact me soon rather then going just through the school.
I would say as a mother the hardest thing of everything is her emotional distachment and the lack of any kind of feelings towards me.
Where am I standing? I've just had enough, I feel like I'm not mentally and emotionally capable of dealing with everything she throws at me anymore. On top of this I work part time and I attend college. What can I do to stay strong? how can I be stronger for her or at least be able to not want to break down and crumble all the time.
You poor thing Emma. I haven't rewally got any advice but I couldn't let you go unanswered.
Do you have any support at all? Is there anyone yiu can leave her with while you get some rest, time with friends or just go out for a bit on your own?
Have you always worked /attended college? My dd gave me the complete run around when I started working more hours and her routine changed etc.
Have you had any support for yourself from your own GP? If not, an appointment for yourself might help, to discuss how you're feeling and whether you've got signs of depression as a result of the strain of all this.
It sounds incredibly hard going. Do you have a partner who shares the load / understands how difficult it is? Do you have family or friends locally who help out at all and see the same behaviour?
You say CAMHS are involved, so I'm assuming you're expecting some kind of diagnosis from them for your dd. (Notoriously under staffed and in extremely high demand across the country, but should provide excellent support when you do see them and hopefully they coordinate additional support at school if that's needed).
Are you able to have a break away from the house / dd on a regular basis for yourself? I think if that's possible it will be invaluable to you - eg an hour in a cafe with a magazine / an hour swimming etc. Just so you can switch off for that one hour.
Can you break the elements of her challenges down in categories like you've done in your op and work out strategies for dealing with them / ignoring. I'd say sleep is probably the toughest, as if that's affecting your own sleep too then it's going to be making a tough situation even more difficult. But eg eating, does she refuse to eat / refuse certain foods / throw food/ misbehave at the table? Can you have some basic meal time family rules she will understand that address her behaviour? And just a simple consequence if she doesn't follow them. So that you can hopefully reduce the stress for yourself and you both know if she does a b or c z happens. If she doesn't eat, there's nothing until next meal time.
Are there any activities she does enjoy that might help you bond if she's not emotionally demonstrative? Arts and crafts, reading, last oking at pictures or swimming or walks in the park etc?
It's hard to make specific suggestions without knowing more detail but I hope I'm not offending with any of these ideas. Does she have a structured routine? Sometimes a very reliable pattern to the day can help with challenging behaviour, just so there are no surprises / no rushing and stress / nothing unexpected.
Some weird auto correct there
Looking at pictures that should read!
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