'Quirky' 4 year old - educational psychologist?

[Mandatorymongoose]

Ds is nearly 4, will be at the end of February.

He is often described as quirky. I've been in to nursery today to have a chat about his development and while they said that he is meeting his targets they also mentioned I could consider having a chat with GP about an educational psychologist referal.

To try and give a summary; he's very bright, he learns very quickly and has a good memory. He's excellent with numbers, can easily count past 100 and recognises the numbers up to 100, knows odd and even numbers, can add and take away, knows the two and ten times table. Greater than / less than / equal to. Probably other stuff too.
He knows lots of random facts, mostly geometry / shapes, planets, things he's decided are interesting but then other bits too.
He can't read other than the odd sight word but he's only just started showing an interest. He's known the alphabet and letter sounds for well over a year, he can recite most of the books we own nearly word for word though after maybe two read throughs.
He's also good with routes and directions, he remembers how to get to places.

He's not great with other children, he has two friends at nursery and he plays with them a bit but he'd often rather play alone or with an adult.

He does do imaginative play but not loads he'd rather count things. His toys sometimes talk and he builds machines (?) that have made up names that do tasks like control the weather, sometimes he fights imaginary monsters with his sword.

He likes to do things certain ways. Like at drop off at nursery he has to wait on the step for me to take his stuff and then go before he goes in. If that didn't happen he'd have a bit of a strop and probably cry or get very stubborn. Given he's small and doesn't always get his own way that happens reasonably regularly.

He does negotiate though, he's very good at that.

I do have an older child but she's 17 and honestly I don't remember what 3 year olds are like. I don't know any other small children. My instinct says that while he's definitely got a personality and is in some areas doing well / in other areas not so much it's not really an educational psychologist issue.

I am a bit worried about the social development but maybe that just needs more time? He's an affectionate and caring little boy and he talks about his friends and the other children so he is interested in them.

Apologies for the long post but any thoughts on if there would be a benefit from a psychologist referal or ideas for other things that we could do to help him develop socially (if we need to?) would be much appreciated.

[user1477282676]

It's so hard isn't it? What you describe sounds fine to me. At four, many of them aren't that socially skilled or even interested in socialising.

He sounds delightful to me...I have a quirky child...she's twelve now...she's had her ups and downs but seems to have managed without intervention and is happy with friends and doing well at school.

No harm in seeing the EP I suppose but I really wouldn;t stress too much.

Does DS speak well?

[SuperRainbows]

He sounds like a lovely little boy! He is exceptionally bright going by some of the things he can do.
Should think it was probably a bit of a shock nursery suggesting psychologist. They don't seem to have given you any specific concerns.
I would try and not worry too much about this, but as pp have said there would be no harm in seeking advice.
My main issue would be finding a school that would understand his intelligence and develop his gifts, because he could get very bored and restless.

[Raaaaaah]

What part are nursery concerned about? I think plenty of 4yr olds still prefer to play alongside their peers. I would maybe give it a little time unless you feel that he has difficulties that are really impacting on his life. It sounds like you weren't concerned until nursery mentioned it? Would you feel comfortable waiting until he starts school?

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

I think that if the nursery has concerns I would take them seriously. They see a lot of kids, and as parents we are more used to our own child's quirks IYSWIM. Referrals tend to take ages so I'd advise you to go for it, and if it comes to nothing it's all fine, and if there is something going on he's in the system and getting help early.

DD is quirky too and the nursery brought in EdPsych to see her a couple of times, after a few visits they believed she was "normal". Was worth doing I think.

[Mandatorymongoose]

Thank you for the replies.

His speech is a bit of a funny area. He was quite late to talk almost to the point of SALT involvement but then he suddenly found all the words at once and never shuts up now.

He knows lots of words but I think his grammar is probably about right for his age? Still struggles a bit with tenses and sometimes gets personal pronouns mixed up. He sounds more like a child than an adult when he talks aside from some of the content.

I wasn't really concerned until nursery mentioned it, although of course I have recognised he's probably a little different to other children I just figured they're all a bit quirky in their own way. Nursery seemed mostly concerned about the social side of things but did say he is improving. My lovely DM said maybe he just doesn't play with children because he doesn't tolerate fools which made me laugh at least.

[user1477282676]

Well he's only almost four...some DC just don't DO playing with others until they're a bit older. Even in reception and year one I remember some kids found it overwhelming...they're just not there yet.

I'd not refuse an assesment but I'd not be worried eithe really.

[Lapinlapin]

He sounds bright to me.

If it's any consolation my ds didn't make friends until reception, and he's one of the older ones as well. For him, it was mainly shyness at preschool I think. He was happy chatting away to adults though.

School has really helped his social skills.

So if I were you I wouldn't worry too much at the moment, but definitely worth taking professional advice.