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Am I in the wrong?

(5 Posts)
RER234 Sun 15-Jan-17 14:26:06

So my DD is 5 and goes swimming every Sunday. She was getting changed after swimming in the ladies communal changing room, we have been going a while and it's only ever been girls and their mothers. Today there was a mother and her daughter getting changed with an older brother who had not been swimming. He was staring at the girls getting changed, I mean properly staring. His mother told him at one point to look at the floor so she did notice. I then said "should he be in here?" And I got told he is only 7 (this seemed a lie to me as he looked at least 10) Some of the other mothers tutted at me and said he is only a child - but you should have seen the way he was staring at the girls (4 to 10 years old) he made me feel uncomfortable. Am I in the wrong? They have separate changing rooms at schools for PE even at primary school. It was a ladies changing room - I would apologise to her if I see her next week if you think I am totally out of order.

NuffSaidSam Sun 15-Jan-17 14:40:38

You weren't being unreasonable to ask.

Whether she was unreasonable depends on the rules of your swimming pool. At our local one boys can come into the girls changing rooms up to the age of 8, so she wouldn't have been breaking the rules/being unreasonable here. Find out the rules of your pool.

You can't judge how old a child is from looking at them, so YABU to assume she was lying because he didn't, in your opinion, 'look' 7.

She was being unreasonable to allow him to stare/make the girls feel uncomfortable though. Although it's not clear whether any of the children were uncomfortable or whether it was just you?

I don't think you need to apologise to her though.

InTheDessert Sun 15-Jan-17 15:00:02

I think you did the right thing to question it gently, as it sounds like you did.
If you are really concerned, maybe have a word with the reception staff on your way out next time it happens.
I wouldn't apologise.

Blossomdeary Sun 15-Jan-17 15:04:00

I do not think there is a problem here. He was staring and learning - if he had been staring at a beautiful sunset, no-one would have minded.

The only way children can learn about the difference between the sexes is by observation. What harm was he doing?

DearMrDilkington Sun 15-Jan-17 15:10:23

He was staring and learning - if he had been staring at a beautiful sunset, no-one would have minded.

Urm... What?confused

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