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Grand parents discipline

(6 Posts)
sootyrupert Thu 22-Feb-07 21:12:54

DD has had chicken pox this week and as DH works ridiculous hours my mum invited me to stay wit her and step dad so she could entertain ds whilst i dealt with dd which turned out to be a lifesaver until the following! During dinner on the second night of our stay dd was screaming at the table that she wanted to sit next to me, i said ok come round and bring your chair. dd sat where she was and kept crying, before i had chance to move my step dad grabbed her by her blister covered arm and dragged her round the table and then got her chair and dunped her on it with shouting thrown in. DD was terrified we have a strictly no physical policy in our house and goes on and on about grandad dragging her. I daren't tell DH as he would go mad. Do i raise the issue with mum or stepdad discipline was an issue before this - apparently we are doing it wrong despite having two beautifully behaved kids - i know i need to but could do with some advice on how to approach it. I am supposed to be leaving dcs with them for a weekend in maech and now dont want to. sorry so long!!

WideWebWitch Thu 22-Feb-07 21:14:41

Don't leave them if you're uncomfortable and you sound as if you are. I think it's fair enough to say 'I don't like what you did please don't do it again' and honestly, I wouldn't leave her unless he assures you it won't happen again.

WideWebWitch Thu 22-Feb-07 21:15:30

It was out of all proportion by the sound of it and I really DON'T think they should tell you how to discipline your children or step in in these situations. Keep doing it your way.

ScottishThistle Thu 22-Feb-07 21:16:49

I agree, she's your child & you're perfectly within your rights to pull him up on his heavy handling of your daughter!

skibump Thu 22-Feb-07 21:17:15

Ooooh that's hard. Sorry, no advice but lots of support. Of course you choose how to raise your kids, and your stepdad's behaviour is completely unacceptable. I wouldn't want to leave them either - that's not v helpful tho is it, sorry

adath Thu 22-Feb-07 21:37:00

I agree I would not leave dc's in March unless you have 100% assurance that it will not happen again. We all raise our children differently but we also have to respect each others choices and parents especially I think need to remember this. I think our parents seem to be under the impression that as we are their children it means they have more of a say than they actually do.

Your step-dad appeared to have over-reacted especially as your dd was not only unwell but spending her time ill away from her own home so was bound to be out of sorts and needed comfort and sympathy rather than punished. I do also feel that you should bring the subject up now rather than later and let it fester as they may be able to look at it again realise it was wrong and re-assure you between now and March.

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