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Does anyone else have a "shouty" 2 year old?

(7 Posts)
brexitschmexit Wed 11-Jan-17 10:51:44

DD (2.3) has just started nursery a couple of mornings a week. Her first session went really well considering she has never really been away from me. She was reluctant for me to leave but settled fine and played quite happily with various toys, no tears etc. I have noticed though that her coping mechanism when she is unsure or feels threatened/nervous is to shout, usually "NO!" at people. This has become more obvious as I have dropped her at nursery as it is all very new and there are new people (the teachers) addressing her and trying to engage with her. She can be a bit like this at school pick up (has older siblings) when other mums, dads etc try and talk to her. Admittedly I have usually just got her up from her nap so she's a bit out of sorts and still waking up, but literally all anyone has to do is say hello and she turns her head and says no! in a grumpy way!

I suppose I'm looking for tips on how to deal with this as I admit I find it a bit embarrassing and find myself apologising to people, but she is only 2 and still learning social niceties. Her language is very good for her age so she doesn't struggle for vocab to express herself. It's just trying to get her out of this instinct to turn away and shout no, how to encourage her towards "better" behaviours? I know it's awful when your little one cries when you leave them, but in some ways that would be easier to deal with than the shouting, it just seems more socially acceptable IYSWIM?

Or should I just roll with it for now (whilst gently reassuring her everything is ok and people are just being friendly) and cut her some slack as she is so little and starting a new phase in her life?

brexitschmexit Wed 11-Jan-17 10:54:00

Incidentally, overall she is rather a happy, cheeky and funny girl. Socialises well with other kids at the park, toddler groups etc and loves to chat and engage. It's just that when it catches her off guard or she is not in the mood to engage, she reacts by shouting and turning away.

uhoh2016 Thu 12-Jan-17 05:05:40

I used to do this my mum would be mortified, it was however just a phase I grew out of

Tootsiepops Thu 12-Jan-17 05:14:58

Personally, I'd find that sort of thing pretty funny...mainly because I'd like to engage in that sort of behaviour myself when I'm tired or grumpy or a bit out of sorts.



I'd leave it be for now. She's got a lifetime ahead of her to have to put up with excruciating social nicities and no one saying what they really mean.

I admire her honesty. I think toddlers are brilliant.

user1477282676 Thu 12-Jan-17 05:19:02

I also find this sort of thing funny grin nobody will judge you (or her!)...she's 2!

Anyone who does isn't worth thinking about.

Just ignore her or direct your attention to the person she's shouting at.

user1477282676 Thu 12-Jan-17 05:20:25

Tootsie yes!

When the alarm goes off in the morning...


When the dentist asks you to open wider



brexitschmexit Thu 12-Jan-17 13:35:48

Thanks for the reality check, folks! I think perhaps because I have 2 older ones (7 and almost 6), I sometimes judge her behaviour in the same light as theirs. So if they were to shout at people and refuse to speak to them, I would be quite clear with them that it is rude etc. I guess she is still little and this is just her way of showing she is not ready to engage or is feeling unsure in some way. I will continue to reassure her the person is just being friendly, encourage her to use her words and not to shout, and try to chill out on the embarrassment!

When I take a step back, I can see the amusing side, especially if I apply it to myself and imagine shouting no at the dentist as suggested above! Plenty of time for towing the line with the social niceties I guess!

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