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Nearly 4yo and school / friendships. I don't know what to do.

(3 Posts)
confusedandemployed Tue 10-Jan-17 08:20:34

My DD will be 4 at the end of Feb and started nursery school last March (attached to the primary school).

On the face of it she is remarkably articulate and sociable and will play or chat with anyone.

However she says that school gives her bad feelings and she doesn't know who to play with. She is friends with one little girl who she has known since birth (her Dm and I are good friends). I have noticed, and a few play workers have told me, that this little girl kinda monopolises DD and refuses to let her out of her sight, even to go to the toilet.

The teacher told me at parents evening that when this little girl was absent DD seemed "a bit lost".

I'm sure I'm being a bit PFB but equally, at that age, surely one of the key roles of the teacher is to encourage socialization? I'm really worried that my DD is being left to fend for herself or having to play with someone she doesn't really want to.

It can't be good for the other little girl either, to be so dependent on DD? I'm considering asking for a meeting with the teacher to discuss the matter - I've kept DD off today because she had an absolute meltdown at the thought of going to school. I should add that I wouldn't normally keep off for this but these underlying concerns have swayed me.

Should I contact the school? Or just see how it goes. For completeness I should add that I nearly spoke to the school a month ago but for various reasons decided not to.


Mummy2aRockstar Tue 10-Jan-17 09:49:15

I would have a word with the teachers, ever if just to put your mind at ease. My son went through a period of being obsessed with one little boy at nursery and didn't cope very well when that little boy was off for a weeks holiday. I had a word with his teachers and we wrote down a few things that my ds loved, the next day his teacher asked him if he'd like to draw a picture of transformers (his favourite at the time) and as he was doing so another little boy said I love transformers too and that was the beginning of a new friendship for my son. He coped a lot better when the first boy came back, so it paid off to talk to his teachers.

confusedandemployed Tue 10-Jan-17 11:18:23

Thanks. I will speak to the teacher. I'm also worried about the other little girl because, for valid reason, I think she sees DD as the constant in her life: she has a lot of care-givers and very little routine so I'm loath to just split them up. I'd far rather they were both encouraged to forge additional friendships.

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