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Help with disciplining the right way.

(6 Posts)
user1483799958 Sat 07-Jan-17 15:16:31

Hi. can anyone recommend somewhere that can offer advice on how to gain control in disciplining my 6&7 year old children?
I'm fighting a losing battle and don't know who or where to turn to. I don't want to be responsible for affecting my children in any way for my failings at discipline.
It usually goes something like this: I ask my children to tidy their mess up and it ends up with me locking myself in a bathroom after they have attacked me verbally and physically. We are all shouting over one another and the situation is out of control. They won't listen to a word I say.
I feel like I need someone to coach me in how to gain control the right way. We end up saying awful things to each other. My children gang up on me and I've failed once again.
I'm losing on this parenting thing and need to get some help.
Has anyone been through something similar? Can anyone offer advise please?

Thanks. Sophie

BrightRedSpinner Sat 07-Jan-17 15:20:19

Do you look out for things to praise regularly? Do you do time out? What are the consequences after they have physically and verbally attacked you? Are you a single parent or in a relationship?
Sorry for all the questions, I think they're relevant.

FATEdestiny Sat 07-Jan-17 15:23:03

You could ask your local sure start or gp surgery if there are any local parenting courses for older children.

mummc2 Sat 07-Jan-17 15:32:12

I am by no means great at disciplining but through my years as mum and a very challenging DD I have found shouting does not work they see it as confrontation and defend themselves by copying you (shouting) I found having a box in place to confiscate things is good. You ask politely at their level a set amount of times 1-3 then if not done then phone/iPod/tv/fave toy goes in the box until they can apologise and/or do what was asked.

user1483799958 Sat 07-Jan-17 15:50:05

Thanks for responding.
I'm married to their father.
I do praise and try to instill confidence in them as I understand how important that is.
Time out hasn't worked for us with our 6 yo daughter but will work with my 7 yo son.
Consequences are that they will have something taken away until an appropriate length of time.
I just feel that everything is futile really. They are sorry for a time and then the cycle continues.
I just wish there was a formular that could be taught.

BrightRedSpinner Sat 07-Jan-17 16:25:22

Are you are your DH consistent in how you discipline?
I think that time out working for one and not the other is a big issue. If children see that things are not 'fair' they will be much less likely to co-operate so I expect your son is feeling angry that he has to do time out while your daughter doesn't (if that's what you mean?) If that is the case he may be leading things and wanting to get back at you for the unfairness?

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