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aargh - am fed up with DS! Help!

(12 Posts)
iwearflairs Wed 21-Feb-07 15:13:22

Whinging, throwing things, demanding food, throwing soap down the loo - in short everything he knows he is not allowed to do and which will get him some negative attention from me. If I leave the room or empty the dishwasher he is likely to draw on the carpet or 'forget' to go to the potty.

The last few days he has been doing this. Why? He also threw a complete wobbly about going to nursery, so badly that I kept him home on the understanding that he will go tomorrow.

Also, he doesn't ever want to go out anymore, not even to a playcentre which he used to love. He seems so negative and contradicts me the whole.

What is going on? What do I do? He has just said he wants to go to grandmas. He is almost 3.

LucyJones Wed 21-Feb-07 15:27:44

My ds is going through similar. I've heard the terrible two's are nothing compared to the god awful three's
Only thing we're doing is trying to ignore the bad and praise the good. We also use the naughty step and saying sorry.
Doesn't always work but can't think of what else to do with him!

iwearflairs Wed 21-Feb-07 15:32:59

Yes, I should try to remember but on days like today it was hard to find anything good!! I put him in his room for the first time ever and dont have a naughty step but he has had to say sorry to me twice today (never really very convincing either). I guess it drums in after a while ?

amelia02 Wed 21-Feb-07 15:33:46

Mine has started to use a funny voice - all deep and growly - as he knows it annoys me. It started off being quite funny and now he hardly ever talks normally. Sounds very insignificant but I'm starting to wonder if he'll ever talk in his normal voice again! (Don't laugh!)

iwearflairs Wed 21-Feb-07 17:12:09

Mine is just like a rampaging maniac, starting on one annoying thing and moving rapidly to the next. I lost my temper this afternoon and he just seemed pleased about it. Is he the devil incarnate?

jhyesmum Wed 21-Feb-07 17:31:48

Hi. My DS is 6 (well 7 on Sunday). He was just the same.

Me and DH literally ingnored it. I know this is difficult when he's destroying the house, but it did work for us. He realised that we didn't really care that he was doing all these bad things. what we did do was make a huge deal of anything he did that was good.

I know it's so hard. They drive you mad, but he will get over it.

becaroo Wed 21-Feb-07 17:38:43

My 3.5 year old ds is going through something similar...not wanting to go anywhere, fighting with his friends, being really naughty etc. Just trying to ride it out at the moment. 3 is much worse than 2 IMO.

seasonsreasons Wed 21-Feb-07 18:52:15

Ok what is it with 3 year olds not wanting to go out. Mine cried when i took him to the park and begged me to take him home.

amelia02 Wed 21-Feb-07 18:54:53

Agree 3 much worse than 2. My 2 year old can play up but the naughtiness is so much more calculated at 3!!

iwearflairs Thu 22-Feb-07 22:34:23

Back again after a better day but DS refused to let me brush his teeth early in the morning so I made him go to his room until he was ready to let me do it. He cried and cried and I icily took a telephone call before going up to him at which he said 'I cried a lot of cries' but eventually let me do his teeth.

I know this is not ignoring, but I didn't think i could ignore the tooth-brushing issue. I know there is a lot of stuff about naughty steps and time outs around - is it a good thing to do? I am afraid of him getting a low self-esteem but really felt I should put my foot down.

The naughtiness definitely seems to have kicked in though he has had his moments since he turned 2. he seems to have some particularly bad days. Today he was adorable other than the toothbrush incident.

becaroo Fri 23-Feb-07 14:04:55

I think kids are like us, they have days when they just wake up on the wrong side of the bed....I use the naughty step when my ds has been really naughty, but like you I wouldnt feel able to do it all the time. It can really wind you up when they do this,as some days they are great, no tantrums, nothing, then BAM! child from hell appears!...you are not the only one so dont worry

elandjacksmum Tue 27-Feb-07 21:17:53

I found a really nice (though slightly american) book which emphasised 'positive time out' rather than 'go to your room, i can't stand the sight of you'. The idea is you do more of a 'you need a moment to calm down, so i'll come back in a minute' and then when you do go back you can say 'now, are you ready to do ...' whatever it was they refused the first time. It tends to work pretty well. Also, the idea is that you're teaching them a skill for later life -if they become insanely angry they will know to remove themselves from the situation to calm down. The book was called something like 'Positive Discipline for Pre-Schoolers' and available from Amazon... Good luck.

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