DD vomits when I leave her at creche

[Lilypie]

DD is 21 months old and has never been away from me as I've been a SAHM working from home but now my business is growing I need to invest more time in it so I've started dd at a creche 3 afternoons a week. I expcted it to be difficult but it's much worse than I expected. At first she cried so hard she made herself sick, now she's so worked up at the sight of the creche she barely cries just vomits almost as soon as we cross the door.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this really, just looking for support as I feel very guilty for doing this to her and I'm frightened I'm emotionally scaring her in some way by persisting.

[3sEnough]

Oh you poor lass - no solutions really past the ones which you must have already thought of - child minder at your house, relatives (if possible) keep the business small for the next few yrs etc. She should get better with any luck!

[Lilypie]

Got to keep trying, no choice. I have business commitments for the next 2 years already.
Cant afford a minder at home.

[alison222]

No help for you I'm afraid - but wanted to say my DS was like that at the gym in the creche. He worked out that if he cried enough he would be sick and they would come and get me. Even after lots of persistance - playing in there with me so it was familiar the longest I ever managed to leave him was 40 mins so I abandoned it (this was about 12-18 mths old).

After this I successfully left him at playgroup when he was 2. He had got through the clingy phase and was ready to do something on his own for a short period by then. i think it helped that he went with a freind of his own age at the same time and they started almost together.

[alison222]

I wonder if it is the setting rather than you leaving her per se. Have you considered any other options?

[Lilypie]

I dont have any other options I can think of. No family, no friends who are in a position to help and I have to work, well, tbh I want to work, I've built my business up from nothing in the last year and I'm proud of it. I'm a wedding photographer and I have booking from now til xmas next year, I have to honour my commitments there.

I was really hoping to hear a few positive stories where someones faced the same difficulties and got thru it eventually.

[Lilypie]

Has anyone had this and resolved it????

[FrannyandZooey]

Is the creche much cheaper than a childminder who is caring for other children at the same time?

I am sorry, I know you are hoping for stories where this has worked out but I personally can't see it happening. I can see why you are persevering with this situation but think you must find an alternative, sadly

[Lilypie]

I looked into child minders but cant find 1 willing to take dd for just 10-15 hours a week as I can't afford (and dont want) full time care.

[edam]

Sorry, not come across vomiting before. I agree that it may be she now associates that particular creche with something that upsets her and vomits... so if I were you, I'd find another venue. Another nursery?

[FrannyandZooey]

Keep looking...childminders do take children on part time....or maybe a nanny share?

[alison222]

Where are you in case wwe can help re the childminder front. Lots do take on part time children - I know I do and if you posted in the childminder part of the site you may get help there or someone would know someone near you - Childminders operate very much on Word of mouth.
Have you looked at other nurseries/creches etc in the area? I know a move is not ideal but it doesn't sound like you DS is happy at all.

[amidaiwish]

my dd is 16 months old and goes to nursery a few days a week, she loves it, goes in happily and seems to be very happy.

However, i have tried leaving her at the creche at the gym the odd time (with her big sister there too) - and she has a complete melt down. i don't really understand it, the women seem lovely, she just seems to hate the place.

I guess what i am trying to say is first of all i would start by leaving her with people she knows away from home, then try again with a creche, ideally with another child that she knows? Try building up bit by bit, 10 mins, 20 mins, 1 hour, full session etc... do they have "settling in sessions" like at nurseries?

It is also quite a difficult age, a couple of months will make a massive difference.