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Appropriate consequences for naughty behaviour in 6 year old

(2 Posts)
amyboo Wed 28-Dec-16 11:00:19

My normally calm and well behaved eldest DS (6.5) has started to behave quite badly sometimes recently. We've had a couple of comments from his teacher about him arguing with classmates, and we're struggling with him retaliating to others' bad behaviour (particularly his younger brother's - age 3.5). For example, DS1 hits his brother because he annoyed him. Or, the other day at school he coloured on someone's jumper because they coloured on his first, etc.

Now he just had a sleepover at his best friend's house where he fought with his friend and made him cry. They normally get on really well and are both super well behaved. DH and I are furious with him because he apparently put his arm around his friend's neck!! He knows this is wrong. Again, he says the friend did it first (not sure I believe that).

My question is - what sort of punishments are appropriate for this kind of behaviour at this age? We explained to him that this was wrong and he could have seriously hurt his friend. We told him we're disappointed that he would behave like this etc, and have sent him to his room since he came home this morning. Is it enough to confiscate a favourite new Lego set for example or do you think we should do more? I really want him to understand that he shouldn't retaliate and that he certainly shouldn't ever behave like he did at his friend's house...

gallicgirl Wed 28-Dec-16 15:39:09

Does he seem contrite? I'd be inclined to leave it at banishment to his room for now.

It probably wouldn't hurt to reinforce the behaviours you expect from him and reward good behaviour. Would a reward chart work with him?

Other than that, I can only suggest a chat to see if he can identify a trigger to his behaviour. Has something or someone upset him? Is he worried about something?

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