Baby not comforted by cuddles(6 Posts)
I have an 8 month old DS who's in the process of learning to walk. Understandably this involves falling over or smacking his head on things much though I try to prevent it!
He tends to get upset and cry when this happens but picking him up and cuddling him doesn't help console him at all. He puts his arms up to be picked up but he only stops crying after a distraction (reading a book, pretending he is a helicopter(!) - whatever).
Is this normal? I feel a bit useless being unable to comfort him with a cuddle.
I wouldn't worry too much. My little girl wouldn't really want any comfort when she hurt herself either to be honest. It did make me feel a bit useless. And I did wonder if it meant something was wrong. But now at 3 she will accept comfort when she hurts herself
My little boy was totally disinterested in cuddles until after he turned one. Even then they would be very brief, like 2 seconds, and he would turn and carry on with his very busy schedule 😔 it's really hard on the mums (and dads) when your baby isn't a cuddler. It wasn't what I expected at all and I felt quite rejected. My boy is nearly 20 months and gradually over time realised that he likes cuddles, he just had too much going on I think when he was younger (reflux and desperation to master walking, hated being immobile). It sounds similar to your situation. Try not to take it personally. Give plenty of kisses and brief cuddles and eventually you'll start to get them back x
Bubspub - I honestly think we have the same child! Mine was never into cuddling even as a new born and small baby I used to tell my DH how I was really sad I didnt get to experience that closeness that other moms had with their babies. BUT he is definitely a lot better now and comes to me when he's tired and wants me to pick him up. Also when he's poorly. These boys are just way too independent!!
Mscongeniality they are too similar in every way! Literally every way! It is that determined, independent streak that is quite a handful to parent. Have you read Dr. Sear's description of 'high needs' babies? Can't remember if we've spoken about that before. My boy has 10/12 of the high needs traits. Dr. Sear's says the babies who don't like cuddles are the most challenging to parent. I remember reading that and feeling very sorry for myself! You can read about it on his website, I think he's a paediatrician who has observed many high needs babies. His article really resonated with me.
It's nice that we're proof that these babies do eventually give cuddles! X X
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