4yo dd and shyness.

[DeleteOrDecay]

Dd attends a nursery attached to a school and tonight we had parents evening. Her teacher/key worker was very pleased with her, she's made friends - one little girl in particular she calls her 'best friend' and never stops talking about her at home. She's chatty, outgoing and takes part in class discussions. The teacher had no concerns and believes she will do just fine when she starts reception next September. Brilliant.

At home she is the same, plus some of the usual naughtiness/Tantrums at this age.

We took both dd's with us to the parents evening meeting as we had no one to look after them and we both wanted to hear how she was doing. Dd was so shy, she wouldn't talk or look at her teacher, would only sit on my lap snuggled into me and kept saying she wanted to go. Her teacher/keyworker was really surprised! Not in a negative way, it's just that at nursery she is the complete opposite so it must have been strange to see her retreat like this. Once we left she was completely back to normal.

Anyway we have noticed that she's like this a lot around other people but usually only when we are around. For example if any of her grandparents (who she sees regularly) come to visit, she won't talk or even look at them until she feels ready too, sometimes not at all. But when she goes to stay at one of their houses over night she her usual chatty, playful self.


I'm not worried per-se. Just wondered if this was normal? It's always only when we are around , I feel like it's my fault somehow, like its me that's causing her to feel anxious or something, which probably sounds silly. I never push her into interacting with people if she doesn't want to, but I also try to encourage her to at least say hello/goodbye to visitors as they have generally come to see and spend time with her and it's good manners.

[Ferguson]

I think it is very common for children to be confident in school/nursery settings, but having a parent in that 'setting' they are out of their 'comfort' zone - so they clam up; parents are expected to be 'at home' (in a child's eyes).

[fleur34]

Completely normal! My 5 yo dd was like this at 4 and I was so worried about her starting school but she's been fine! She is so settled and confident now, I needn't have worried and I'm sure your dd will be the same xx

[DeleteOrDecay]

Thanks for the reassurance! I'm so glad that she is confident at nursery and hopefully one day she'll grow out of it