Help needed...long post but please help!

[Beccaxloux]

In need of some help.
My little boy is 19 months old and to say that he is difficult is an understatement. I have another child who is 8 and he was literally hands down the easiest baby toddler and child in the world. I know every child is different so i left it for as long as possible but i really need some advise. His behaviour has never been easy,he's very distructive and is always trying to hurt people (pets) hes ruined countless days out, i havent been for a meal out with him since he was 6 months old. I cant go shopping because he screams from the second we get in a shop until we leave (every single shop) For the last 4 months hes been screaming/screeching and shouting non stop, from the second he gets up hes screeching, he is just never quiet and for the last 2 months he has started waking in the night and shouting and screeching for around 2 hours and whether we go into him or try leave him he wont stop (will stop if i go in and start when i leave again) its disrupting my older child and just isnt fair when he has school in the morning. Im struggling to find time with my older child as the youngest wants constant attention, screams in my face if i try and do something with his sibling or will punch/pull hair or smack me or sibling. Its also creating a giant rift between my partner and me as we cant go out without it being stressful, he gets in from work and i'll have had a difficult day and i struggle to spend time with him in the evening as im so tired from being up for hours in the night and plus hes properly up from 5am everyday no matter what time he goes to bed. My family work full time so i have no one to have him for a while why i have a break. Hes gradually getting worse and i have no help and just feel so stressed constantly, I almost snapped at him in town the other day as i took him for a 20 min walk and he screamed the entire time. I feel so far away from who i used to be a year a half ago and everyone just tells me hes going through a phase (health visitor/family) . Ive also piled on loads of weight from comfort eating and feel so down constantly. Any help or suggestions would be greatly welcomed as im running out of ideas to improve things.

[DoItTooJulia]

Ok. That sounds tough.

I have a similar age gap and no2 was much like this although probably not quite as bad.

Have you eliminated the possibility that there's something wrong? (Teething, reflux, pain?) in the first instance if try a dose of calpol-if he's in pain this will work and will help you to get to the bottom of what's wrong.

If it's not related to pain then I think it's time to get a bit tough. Have you seen the books Hands are not for hitting and teeeth are not for biting? They are really good and simple and your ds will understand even if you think they won't. (I was gobsmacked when I read these to my ds. Not only did he understand but he would try and hide the books-he didn't want to read them because he didn't like them!)

I always thought he was in a mad rush to catch up with his older sibling and a lot of my ds's behaviour was frustration related.

Finally can you find something he LOVES doing. Feeding the ducks, ginger painting, play doh and use it as a reward?

And finally, get him outside. A climibing frame, trampoline, mud kitchen ANYTHING that will get him outside where the whining doesn't seem so loud and that will tire him out!

good luck.