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2 ds' aged 3 and 2. Always arguing

(8 Posts)
Happymumof3tob Mon 14-Nov-16 18:49:01

So i have two ds'. One aged 3 and one aged 2. They love each other very much and can often be seen excited as one comes out from nursery and give each other hugs and kisses... however. Everyday they go through multiple phases of hitting and shouting and arguing with each other. The eldest will hit the younger right out of the blue for no reason. The other starts screaming and running shouting mummy he hit me. Then i have to tell older ds off then theres a big whoo haa for about 30 mins. For it to settle down and then start all over again. We are expecting another baby and now im wandering what i am going to do about this chaos. Sometimes they are so loud jbahve to raise my voice so they can hear me! I wander what the neighbours must think.

Please tell em this gets better before i tear my hair out. At the moment they are being angels singing and dancing to a video of nursery rhymes on youtube. But 20 minutes ago it was ww3. And in a other 2o it will probably be ww4 confused what doni do. I have tried disciplining. Talking. Explaining. They always apologise to each other when it calms down. Is it just a boys will be boys thing....?

Happymumof3tob Mon 14-Nov-16 21:01:36


TooTweeOrNotTooTwee Mon 14-Nov-16 21:35:05

I'm not sure about the whole 'boys will be boys' thing. Mine are 20 months apart and the eldest (DD) is definitely the instigator of most of the trouble!

Having said that, at 4 and 2 they are pretty good now, and when they are not I find showering attention on the 'victim' tends to work well. I always insist on an apology - I know some disagree and say they have to 'mean' it, but just getting in the habit of recognising you've hurt someone and apologising has to be a good thing in my book.

Whilst not giving the 'instigator' too much attention, I do think it is worth listening to them and finding out what is setting it off - often the eldest is engaged in some complex imaginary game and the youngest has unwittingly upset things by moving a toy slightly to the right or something like that. So then I can ensure he leaves her in peace afterwards.

I'm sure you've thought of all of this anyway, but that's about all I can think of. Good luck with number three!

Happymumof3tob Mon 14-Nov-16 22:36:09

Thanks. Yeah sometimes its the same reasons as your dc's. Sometimes they play amazingly well and i feel so blessed. Then one of them kicks off and i think oh my god.

Thanks for the advise. I guess its just a natural thing kids do. Hard to communicate eficiemtly at those ages. Their speach is quite good and they are very vocal but i suppose its just sibling rivalry. Im sure it gets better.... or the arguments just change as their ages change lol.

abeandhalo Tue 15-Nov-16 06:47:15

Do they have the communication skills to verbally explain to each other why they're annoyed? Wondering whether the oldest hits first b/c when annoyed can't immediately think of the words to tell his brother what he doesn't want him to do.

Happymumof3tob Tue 15-Nov-16 07:58:44

My eldest yes. But the 2 year old might understand depends on hiw emotions at the time. 2 year old is still on 2 word sentences. Actually he isnt 2 for another week. I think its just a boy tjing. My husband said him and his 5 brothers were the same. Ds2 can be watching tv and ds2 out of nowhere just come in the room and thunp him then go somewhere else doing his own thing. And ds2 can do the same

Theknittinggorilla Tue 15-Nov-16 22:06:44

My two are the same at the moment, though it's usually instigated by the younger one. Mine are aged four and twenty months. Am very much hoping it's just a phase as I have number three on the way! Sending sympathies......

MiaowTheCat Fri 18-Nov-16 16:35:56

I've got an 11 month age gap and I have to say that 3 and 2 was probably the worst combination of ages so far to be honest (4 and 3 is a lot better if that's any hope).

I've got girls and they bicker like buggery still though.

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