Don't know what to do with dd (6)

[Farmmummy]

Sorry about the essay!Dd is 6, was born preemie but seemed to catch up more or less by time she was 2. At nursery (started at 3) she was quiet and took until after Christmas to really join in properly, before that she would participate but hung back then by Feb they were amazed how chatty she became. She never would eat the meals there except oddly spag Bol and often just had ham sandwiches and has always been fussy only recently becoming more open to new things but go etc wasn't too worried (and I disguised veg in the spag Bol). She didn't go through the terrible 2s or 3s but after starting school became quite cheeky and defiant and although she will say "I love you etc" it's only very recently she has begun to show and really respond to hugs and kisses warmly. In school she was quiet at first but again joined in and made friends but has always been behind work wise. In p1 and 2 both teachers said they thought she might catch up and it definitely shows she's almost a year younger than some in the class but we would watch and see, this year (P3) she is really struggling and teacher is talking about testing later for special needs to help her as she won't cope with p4. At home she has changed a lot doesn't listen at all and literally seems unable to process even simple tasks she wants to do like her santa list. Tidying and even getting washed are a battle and she has been "leaking" before going to toilet but says she doesn't notice so won't change pants until I check or notice a whiff later, although the GP can't find a medical problem there. I just don't know how to approach her I don't want to badger her but if we don't keep at her she does nothing, offering incentives and taking away toys etc she just doesn't care

[CaesiumTime]

It sounds like she really needs a developmental assessment. Understanding her difficulties might help you develop some strategies to help her with tasks.

You might ask for this post to be moved to Special Needs section as you might get more replies and suggestions there. Good luck with it all, OP.

[Farmmummy]

Thank you so much for your reply Caesium, will ask for post to be moved