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Late talkers - success stories please!

(14 Posts)
Inthehighcastle Mon 31-Oct-16 12:05:43

Really need to hear some positive stories today. DS 2.9 still not really talking, pronunciation in particular is really poor. I'm feeling reallly down about it all today, I just want to have a day where I can just play with him normally without constantly thinking about how I'm talking to him, what type of questions I'm asking, am I giving him enough time to respond etc etc. I just don't understand why this is so hard for us when other kids just seem to absorb language so easily without any effort.
I just can't imagine him suddenly being able to talk properly, I just can't see how he is going to go from where he is now to being able to make all the letter sounds.
I feel really sad for him, I feel like he is missing out on so much. I was trying to explain Halloween to him this week but it's so hard to know how much he understood when he can't ask questions back, I know it will be the same about Christmas.
Just feeling really frustrated with it at the minute, progress is really slow and I'm sure he has stopped picking up new words, I can't remember the last time he said a new one.
The speech and language lady we have been seeing says he's too young for proper speech therapy so we have been doing parenting classes which focus on how you speak to them which has been helpful if a little patronising but I'm wondering where we go from here.
If you had late talkers when did speech finally improve for you? And was it spontaneous or did it take a lot of speech therapy?
I feel slightly obsessed with this now and it's constantly on my mind and getting me down sad

Lupinlady5 Mon 31-Oct-16 15:51:18

My DS1 had very bad pronunciation until well over three. Used a lot of substitutions, but was still in the normal range. There is incredibly wide variation.
Understanding is more important than accurate speech - do you have real worries about understanding?

AveEldon Mon 31-Oct-16 16:06:24

Is the SLT private or NHS?
Has he had a hearing test?

BellesBelles Mon 31-Oct-16 16:11:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BellesBelles Mon 31-Oct-16 16:12:37

Oh yes and I second the hearing test - worth a check (my DDs hearing was fine though). Contact your GP for a referral.

blaeberry Mon 31-Oct-16 16:41:42

Belles sorry but I think it is very unhelpful to say 'don't worry'. When should she start worrying?

Castle if he hasn't recently had a hearing test (not counting newborne test) do ask for one. My ds had glue ear and got grommets at 2.5 years. After that he started making a lot more sounds - before this he had about 10 'words'. Do you have any other concerns about his development? For example his coordination? If so you might want to ask for a referral to a paediatrician and an Occupational Therapy Assessment. (One cause of speech difficulties is dyspraxia which affects coordination). Are there any speech and language/communication playgroups in your area? These will also help you get some support for yourself.

My ds had lots of private SALT as the NHS offered very little. He started school at a specialist language unit. He has now returned to mainstream with a TA and additional support sessions. He can speak fairly well now (age 7) but certainly not as well as his peers. His understanding is pretty normal though. Of course, a lot of children are just slightly late talkers and are chatting away by 3 years old and your ds may well be one of these. But don't let anyone fob you off with this if you are worried.

Inthehighcastle Mon 31-Oct-16 17:35:13

Thank you for replying. The SLT is NHS, not sure whether to look into private, does any one have experience of this?
He has an appointment for a hearing test next week, not sure how cooperative he'll be for it, if he decides he doesn't want to do something he won't do it! I'm pretty sure he can hear fine though.
I don't have any real concerns with his understanding, he can carry out requests etc it's more that I find it difficult to know how much detail to go into sometimes as I'm explaining things because the SLT says to keep sentences short and really simple, I hear his friends having full on conversations and I feel sad that we're both missing out on that. I'm just impatient now!
It's good to know there's others out there though that had similar and now have caught up with peers. We have had a lovely day today and I ha e cheered up so thank you!

gingerh4ir Mon 31-Oct-16 20:09:58

Hi, don't worry. My DC was the same at the same age and I googled everything and worried myself endlessly. She's now 5 and is fine.

just because your DD was fine it doesn't mean the outcome will be the same for others. Not sure how this us supposed to be helpful confused

ceara Mon 31-Oct-16 21:23:18

My DS is a similar age, was completely non-verbal at Easter (half a dozen single words including mama) and talking fluently in sentences by September. It can happen! However, it's impossible to predict which children will spontaneously catch up and which need intervention so - stay hopeful, enjoy your time with your son, and continue to be proactive about helping him with his speech as it will stand him in good stead to have had some intervention early (and will do no harm if not needed).

We had a private and an NHS SLT assessment, and a couple of follow up sessions with the private SLT (still waiting for the NHS appointments he no longer needs!). The private SLT was fabulous and well worth her fees for tailored advice and feedback (of the non patronising variety ;-) ) to help us help DS more effectively and implement the theory.

BellesBelles Tue 01-Nov-16 00:39:04

ginger well maybe I could've put it better but when I was in the same position it was cheering to hear of people whose DCs had similar issues and who went on to make progress. It didn't change my own DC's progress or issues, but it made me more hopeful and less despairing and from that I could concentrate on doing the right things for DD rather than just worrying about it all the time. Worry steals time and hope and positivity. At least it did for me. I hope OP knows I was trying to offer reassurance and hope.

BellesBelles Tue 01-Nov-16 00:41:50

OP, I also saw a private SLT and they were excellent. If you can afford it, why not take your DS for an initial consultation with one so you can get a second opinion?

BellesBelles Tue 01-Nov-16 00:48:34

blae I accept it's not helpful to say "don't worry". It should have read "Try not to over-worry whilst still being totally on the ball about every aspect of your DS's speech and language". I will ask to have my post removed, if it was inappropriate to say "Don't worry".

Inthehighcastle Tue 01-Nov-16 07:01:14

Bellesbelles I know how you meant it and it was totally what I needed to hear yesterday when I was feeling down about it all, today is a new day and I'm starting it with positivity. Of course I'm not going to stop doing all the tactics we've been through with the SLT just because a stranger on the internet has said it'll probably all be fine, but like you say excess worrying isn't going to help my son to speak.
I'm going to await the results of the hearing test just to rule that out then will look for a private consultation with a SLT. At least I feel like I'm doing something more proactive that way.
Thank you to everyone who replied to me.

DuckWaddle Tue 01-Nov-16 20:26:16

Belles- not sure why why you have had such a hard time on here! I'd have found your posts comforting when I was going through similar.
Inthecastle- I could have written your original post when I was going through the same. Actually it was also at 2.9 yo. I was becoming obsessed by it as speech is around you all the time, I'd hear my dd's peers speaking fluently and I really felt she and I were missing out on so much. I'd worry about what it meant for her in the future, whether I'd ever hear her speak properly etc! I felt I was going mad mirroring her soeech all day long!! I found the approach to her 3rd birthday hard as its when you can clearly review milestones etc.
Anyhow forward to now- my dd is 4.1 yo. She speaks brilliantly- still has few minor speech issues. Funnily we recently had a parents evening and they said her communication and language was way ahead where it should be.
I really, really feel for you as it can be isolating as people don't seem to understand why you're worried.In our case I started with a private SALT at 2.9 years. She was amazing and a lot of progress was made. Plus I found her very supportive to me too. I think it's a good time to start working on it- we continued until my dd was about 3.2 years. I'd say that period was key so if encourage you to look into it.For my dd things were relatively slow until about 3.2 and I would say at about 3.5 there was a big increase in her language and pronunciation. I recall thinking that she'd never be able to make a huge leap into having adult like conversation.
Obviously all children are different but I hope this encourages you that things can change. Plus, I'd def suggest you start working on the speech- it was make you feel like you're doing something too. Feel free to message me if you want further info

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