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How do you deal with stress?

(12 Posts)
DaniSecker Sun 09-Oct-16 19:09:07

My mind is so frazzled. My dc1 is 5 and has an awful attitude, doesn't listen. My dc2 cries constantly, he's nearly 2 and prefers to scream and shout to get his point across instead of talking. Dp tries to help, but gets stressed and makes things worse. So eventually, on days like today, we're all shouting and arguing with each other because frankly we're sick of each other.
Me and Dp disagree on parenting styles, me and dc disagree with everything. It's getting to the point where I dread not being at work, and just want to escape at every opportunity. But opportunities are few and far between and even when I do get time to myself I never come home feeling refreshed!

GJEYA Sun 09-Oct-16 19:11:30

I had a coil inserted about 9 years ago. Have been struggling with it with heavy bleeding, bloating & gas, cramps in the abdominal area.

Went to get it removed last Monday, two doctors tried to locate it with a lot of struggle could not find the thread. It took them almost one hour & thirty minutes.
Have been asked to come again when a gynecologist is present. Feel very scared and uneasy since it was very painful. Has any one had a similar experience. Would appreciate any feedback please.

DaniSecker Sun 09-Oct-16 19:18:00

I fear you may need your own thread 😂

ChocolateBudgeCake Sun 09-Oct-16 19:21:48

It doesn't sound like a sustainable situation and you and DP need to find common ground in terms of parenting. Sit down with him and hash out an approach that suits you both.

You need to take back control and show the DC that you are in charge not them. You need to decide on your priorities and aim to change 2-3 things to begin with.

For example a shouting child doesn't get listened to until they calm down and are willing to ask properly for what they want.

Set up a reward system whereby children earn points for a weekend treat, you can reward good listening/instruction following that way.

ChocolateBudgeCake Sun 09-Oct-16 19:23:54

Posted too soon...

Only tackling the stressful behaviour will stop the stress. Prevention rather than cure!

GJEYA Sun 09-Oct-16 19:33:58

sorry new to the site

RainbowBriteRules Sun 09-Oct-16 20:23:11

Hi OP, I have a 5 and a 3 year old and can relate to a lot of your post. My two don't care about reward charts and, although my 5 year old understands being good to get a treat at the end of the week my 3 year old just doesn't.

I like the idea of focusing on two or three things at a time, thanks chocolate

Feels as if family life is completely unnecessarily stressful at times.

justpeachy74 Sun 09-Oct-16 20:28:57

Sounds very like my house OP. Sorry not much help to you but can empathise!

AliceInHinterland Sun 09-Oct-16 20:35:28

I have a toddler and a baby so looking forward to all of this to come, but I recently enjoyed a(n audio)book called The Incredible Years. I don't agree with all of it (lots of sticker charts) but there's some great stuff on consistency, problem solving, and only committing to realistic goals. It would be difficult to do without your partner on board though - are you just in different habits of parenting or do you fundamentally disagree on your key values?

DaniSecker Sun 09-Oct-16 21:15:39

Not so much disagreeing on key values, we both agree on, for example, good table manners. It's more a personality clash, I'm abit more willing to pick my battles and let certain things slide, where he seems to demand things of them that seem age innapopriate, like expecting dc1 to remember to tidy up every toy she plays with before taking out another, whereas I'm happy with loads of mess for an hour then we can all help tidy at the end of the play session. And while some children would be happy with his way, our daughter sticks her heels in when being nagged constantly. I've tried explaining to him that he has to play to her strengths to get results but it goes in one ear and out the other cause he's dead sure he's always right

RainbowBriteRules Sun 09-Oct-16 21:18:58

Yep, very similar here. No idea how to move forward sometimes.

AliceInHinterland Mon 10-Oct-16 09:31:47

I find it hard to tolerate my partner's approach to parenting sometimes, similarly around having age-appropriate expectations, and of course I always think I'm right!
It's such a fine line between the beneficial exposure to different parenting styles and being consistent. At least if you have the same values, and agree that something needs to change, you have a jumping off point.

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