DD age 8 has no friends(6 Posts)
Hi, I really need some help/advice. My DD goes to a very small school, only three other girls in her year group. For a while this was fine, generally everyone got on, but for the last few months my daughter is coming home upset, saying no one will play with her and the other girls (one in particular) is being mean. My daughter is slightly chubbier than she should be but by no means fat and she wears glasses but this has never been a problem before. The other girls are slim and pretty and 'normal'. I don't know if this is what is causing the problem, but at any rate it's nothing we can change. She is fit, healthy and active but isn't very 'sporty', but she belongs to lots of groups outside of school and has no trouble making friends in those.
Tried to speak to her teacher but got brushed off and tonight tried speaking to the mum of the girl who seems to cause the most trouble, and she went completely ballistic at me and accused my daughter of being the bully. I know this is not the case as the Mum's of the other girls have approached me concerned over the way my DD is being treated and I have witnessed first hand some of the spiteful things this girl has done. I had hoped it would all blow over but if anything it's getting worse and my girl is miserable.
Is the only solution to look at another school or are there other ways of dealing with it? Has anyone else been in this situation and how did you handle it? My DD used to be so self confident and happy and she's always loved school. Now she has lost all her self confidence and always puts herself down. I'm so worried about her self esteem and really don't know what to do. Thanks
I'm so sorry for your daughter and you
We are going through a similar-ish situation at the moment but have had a good response from the teacher . Did you have a 'quick word' with the teacher or a proper meeting? Do you think any of the daughters of the nicer mums would come over after school for tea? It's a horrible, horrible thing to go through. I think if you get no support from school then there's no shame in moving. An adult would leave a hostile work environment.
Is this a small private school by any chance? It is NOT acceptable for the teacher to brush you off. Make an appointment with the head teacher straight away and don't stand for this!
Poor DD! Can she go to a school with more girls at all?
I'd be tempted to consider other schools to be honest. That's a very small class and makes it much less likely that she'll find someone she gets in well with and has things in common with. Also not good that the school aren't taking this seriously. Are there any other schools locally?
Thanks everyone for your replies (just changed my username to a more friendly one so sorry for any confusion!). I'm beginning to think that a new school may be the only option but I'm hoping to speak more in depth with the headteacher and see if we can exhaust all other possibilities first. We're in a small village and the school is the only one within walking distance. There are others around but they are a good few miles away. As I have a DS at the school too I'm really reluctant to change, but my girls welfare is my biggest concern so I'll do whatever I can to make sure she's ok.
I find the school difficult to deal with anyway. Most of the teachers are also parents of pupils who attend there and it's the same for TA's. It makes it feel very cliquey and is a bit intimidating for an 'outsider' like me. The main child involved has links to the school in this way and I'm a bit wary of them 'banding together' to support her, but I guess I have to give them the benefit of the doubt and hope that they can be impartial and do their best to resolve the situation. I will keep you posted, but at any rate it's great to be able to share and get some friendly advice - so thank you all!
I would change schools. 3 girls in the year group is a recipe for disaster. Even if you have to drive a bit to school, it's worth it.
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