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Three year old with an awful memory.

(20 Posts)
hardtopinpoint Mon 19-Sep-16 17:12:49

DD will be four in November.

We've always had the usual "what did you do at nursery?" "Don't know", "what did you have for lunch?" "Don't know" etc

I just wrote it off as her being three with no interest in the conversation.

However I now notice that at the end of a busy and more than averagely exciting day, if I ask her what her favourite part of the day was, she can't name anything. Even when I prompt her she mentions something we haven't done or just makes no sense.

What has worried me now is we went on holiday in the summer with several friends and family members we don't often see. It was about a month ago and included quite close family and children she played with for a whole week.

Going through the photos today, she couldn't name any of them! Honestly no idea who they were. This includes great aunts and uncles, quite close friends, people she's seen irregularly since birth and others she has got to know more recently but has seen quite a bit of.

Is this normal? I'm getting a bit concerned that she seems completely clueless. She's really quite face-blind.

hardtopinpoint Mon 19-Sep-16 18:27:32

hopeful bump?

hardtopinpoint Mon 19-Sep-16 19:35:40


Blerg Mon 19-Sep-16 19:39:09

My nearly 3 year old is similar, in that she blanks people out of context - like if we see a nursery worker out and about. She dies tend to get who cousins etc are from photos - but gets very confused and will tend to say any baby is her baby brother, etc.

I wouldn't worry too much - the way they remember stuff or not at this age seems pretty random.

Blerg Mon 19-Sep-16 19:39:28

* does

Wooftweetwooftweet Mon 19-Sep-16 19:41:29

The "how wa your day" answer is quite normal. But not to know any of the family in the photos isn't what I would expect.
My my eldest is quite like that but he would probably remember people but not necessarily their names.
My youngest is two and recognises places from only being there once. I'm not sure if he is normal and eldest is not very clued in or if eldest is normal and younger is exceptional.
My eldest doesn't really ask many questions either. Does yours? Does she show an interest in places you visits, comment on the world outside, etc? Mine is almost too imaginative and wrapped up in his daydreams to notice what's really going on around him.

hardtopinpoint Mon 19-Sep-16 19:47:12

No, she shows almost no interest.

For instance, we went to visit my dad yesterday which we rarely do as he lives miles away and happened to be in the area. I didn't tell her and kept it as a surprise. She LOVES him.

He asked if I'd had to think of an excuse as to why we were going out. I didn't at all! I say get your shoes on and she gets her shoes on and comes with me, with no interest at all in where we are going.

When we put her into bed that night, I asked her what the best part of the day was, expecting she'd be over the moon about seeing grandpa. She didn't mention it.

She's not "thick" iyswim! Can write her name etc.

She just.... I don't even know.... Lives in the moment. Doesn't question, doesn't remember.

hardtopinpoint Mon 19-Sep-16 19:47:43

Sorry I meant to say thanks for the responses flowers

Wooftweetwooftweet Mon 19-Sep-16 19:53:44

That sounds very like ds. I think he's getting better but still talks nonense a lot and says totally out irrelevant things sometimes. I'd guess that it's just a little late to mature.
We try to talk about our day at bed time from start to finish and let him fill inthe gaps. We also have family photos stuck to his bed.
He's having some difficulties at school with day dreamng or playing with his pencil and not listening. But he's quite good at reading, not sure how! Maybe some is going in while it looks like it's not.

hardtopinpoint Mon 19-Sep-16 19:59:29

He's in school! Goodness I can't imagine DD coping with school.

Yes I think she is immature (in an adorable way obvs!). She still seems quite toddler like, she's mystified by emotion, wouldn't occur to her to fall out with friends etc. She's very easy going which is great.

I do encourage her to talk through her day, to put things on a timeline of "first we.... then we" etc. Her language has been if not late then not very early, and she's also bilingual so I try to model conversation to her and read lots of stories. I do feel like I don't do enough though....

I keep thinking it'll come, she's still young. I was really surprised by the photos though. She loved the time she spent with those people but she didn't have a clue who they were.

Watch and wait I suppose....

5moreminutes Mon 19-Sep-16 20:03:44

Kids are wildly different at 3 - my DC1 used to tell me in detail about what had genuinely happened at preschool, down to the tiniest detail (though of course she would be telling me her take on it - so I'd know everything her best friend had said, and about some random child's new character T shirt, and all about the snails they'd found and the snail house they'd built out of leaves and twigs, but nothing about whatever the staff might think it was important parents know). At primary she knew every child in the school's name within a couple of weeks, including the ones in the other classes (very small school though, around 70 kids) . By the end of the first term she knew everything about most children - their granny's dog's first name, their little brother's favourite TV programme etc. :D

DC2 would almost always just say he'd played football if asked what he did that day - and to be fair he usually had, but he often wouldn't know who he'd played football with or what else he'd done. At 9 he is still a bit like that and won't remember people's names until he's known them months - he'll make a new friend and forget to ask their name, and finally work it out a month later! But then he'll never forget them.

DC3 told me reams and reams about what he had done at preschool but all of it was pure fantasy - he appeared totally unable to remember what had really happened, but full of stories about witches and wzards and space rockets which he told as if they had really happened. He grew out of it by about 4.5 I quite miss it He still forgets where we are going straight after I've told him, he can forget between the front door and the car.

The lack of interest would seem more unusual than the not remembering.

If she recognises you and her dad and your dad when she sees you probably isn't face blind I'd think.

Perhaps she is just a dreamer?

Does she remember other things - stories you read her (can she re-tell a frequently heard simple story? Does she remember from the book cover which story it is and choose her favourite for you to read?) Does she remember TV characters she loves?

hardtopinpoint Mon 19-Sep-16 20:08:25

Yes she's obsessed with princesses and can remember the Disney ones and the (vague) stories, plus for instance the names of the secondary characters ie princes and random animals. She is completely obsessed though.

One thing she's excellent at is remembering song lyrics. She could sing you a good portion of Johnny Cash smile

She doesn't know anyone's name at nursery apart from her good friends. There are 60 in the whole nursery and I don't think she knows anyone not in her group (of 20) She doesn't know the names of the kids who started in August. I just don't think she thinks to ask.

Believeitornot Mon 19-Sep-16 20:09:08

I don't remember ds telling me anything about his days. He's still like that now.

As for remembering names and faces - well he'd have to see them a few times. Maybe she felt like it was a "test" and didn't want to answer under pressure. Instead I would have named them for her one more than one occasion then left the pictures around (get them printed) and then she might point them out later.

Re falling out with friends - again at 3, that's quite early to expect that sort of thing! I wonder if your expectations might be a little bit too high. Who are you comparing her to?

hardtopinpoint Mon 19-Sep-16 20:09:34

So maybe it's not a memory problem, maybe it's a not-being-interested problem?

hardtopinpoint Mon 19-Sep-16 20:12:17

It's possible Believeit, I don't have much to compare her to.

Her cousin is a year older and has a phenomenal brain, she's actually quite a handful, sharp as a bloody tack. DD is just made of altogether simpler stuff!

I have a lot of photos of family and friends around as we live very far away from them. She has no problem with immediate family, grandparents, uncles, cousins.

minipie Mon 19-Sep-16 20:15:01

Has she had a sight test? Appreciate poor sight wouldn't explain all of this but worth ruling out?

hardtopinpoint Mon 19-Sep-16 20:17:20

She did when she was a baby. She's got another check up due around her birthday.

Possible I suppose.

Believeitornot Mon 19-Sep-16 20:35:36

I think you back off a bit and stop trying to test her. Mine is a stubborn so and so and the more I asked the less i would get grin

If she can memorise princesses then surely her sight is fine?

hardtopinpoint Mon 19-Sep-16 20:39:44

I suppose what I'm seeing is that if she's interested, she can do it.

However, outside of princesses and Barbies, she just not that interested!

Yes, she definitely clams up if she suspects she's being cross examined!

hardtopinpoint Mon 19-Sep-16 20:39:55

I suppose what I'm seeing is that if she's interested, she can do it.

However, outside of princesses and Barbies, she just not that interested!

Yes, she definitely clams up if she suspects she's being cross examined!

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