How to deal with a stubborn child

[glowfrog]

Hi all

I have a 4 year-old DD1 and 17 month old DD2. We have recently had to move house, DD1 finished nursery in July prior to school starting now so she's had a lot of changes recently, plus she has not been getting enough sleep tbh - I assume that must be why there has been a regression (or what feels like one) to behaviour from a few months ago. She basically say no to me all the time and is being extremely willful.

For my part I am badly sleep deprived, and really struggling to deal with her behaviour at times. I lose my temper too easily and end up being rough with her, or shouting. Tonight she refused to take some Call before bed for her ear infection and I didn't want a repeat of last night, when she woke up screaming in pain. I ended up pulling her off her bed so she would take it (she did, I didn't force it down her throat, I'd never do that at least).

Aside from both of us getting more sleep, I need tips on how to deal with a child who is screaming and shouting when you are trying to ask them something. I find that very hard to deal with. Should I walk away until she calms down?

I feel trapped in a really horrible cycle and some awful adversarial relationship. :-(

[missyB1]

That sounds stressful poor you x

I would try chatting with her at a calm time, tell how much you love her and that you need your "big girl" to help you. Give her little jobs to do that she gets rewarded for. Try and have some special times just with her. You are both stuck in a rut of being negative towards each other, you need to try and create the opportunity for positive experiences.

[glowfrog]

Hi Missy, thank you for the kind words - it is indeed quite hard at the moment.

I have been able to spend some one on one time with her here and there, and I do apologise when I lose my temper. We also had a system of helpfuls for a while - when the jar got full, we would go and get a magazine or some other treat - but while initially successful, the appeal doesn't seem there anymore!

I need to get better at "not caring" ie walking away when she shouts, being firm about things like medicines that do need taking, but without getting too upset with other things, like her mucking around when it's time to brush her teeth and I have given her ample time to play etc.