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Almost at the end of my tether with DD1(4)

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She's driving me insane!
Deliberately defiant, ignoring requests to do things or doing the opposite. Examples include asking her not to jump in the sofa, going to bed, even just trying on her costume for tomorrow!
I've tried asking nicely, firmly, pleading, shouting, bribery, threats of binning toys/being on santas naughty list, nothing works.
Her teacher has told us twice since going back that she's refused to di class activities.
I know its a phase, but does anyone have any suggestions to make it easier to get through?? I'm too young to lose my hair!

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