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General advice about my 6 year old

(7 Posts)
cara0463 Sat 03-Sep-16 20:49:02

Hello fellow mummy's

Just looking for a little bit of advice. My 6 year old has always been the most beautifully behaved child. We also have a two year old and nothing changed when she was born. He adores her and has never been jealous as far as we know. I've always made an effort to have special mummy and son days to make up for lost time when dealing with baby duties. I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant with our third and my son has been behaving so out of character! Not listening to a word I say, really bad attitude problem, talking to me and his dad terribly and just generally being a little terror! As he's always been so well behaved I'm unsure on how to deal with it!

Please no judging sad just some advice would be helpful!

Thanks. XXXX

sixinabed Sat 03-Sep-16 20:59:48

Sorry to hear and no judging from me. My ds1 was 4 when dts arrived and he coped really well, then he was 7 when I was pregnant with dd and it really affected him badly. He was not an angel beforehand but his behaviour nosedived. I think it was kind of like the straw that broke the camels back. We are still working through it 2 years later, but that is also due to some other issues.

I think you need to set boundaries but let him know you understand the fear he will be feeling at losing some more attention to the new arrival. That it is perfectly normal and acceptable for him to be upset and even angry (it's a normal and ok feeling, but we have to be careful how we express it sort of thing).
Make sure that he understands when he does naughty things that it is the behaviour that is unacceptable and naughty, not him. Simply using the language of saying eg. 'That is very naughty behaviour, let's turn that behaviour around' gets that message across I've found. And keep up the special time, maybe even up it if you can.

I think that having been through it once, so knowing how much a new baby will claim your attention, makes it harder for the eldest sibling?

Good luck. I'm sure you'll come through it smile

Lolly12 Sat 03-Sep-16 21:05:47

Not really helpful, but showing solidarity as going through the same thing here with nearly 6 year old. He's always been well behaved, quiet and no issues with behaviour. But recently he's ignoring everything we say, being very rough and aggressive with his 3 yr old sister, shouting at us and generally being very angry and emotional.

I was wondering if it was a hormone surge, or testing boundaries? I know he needs more one on one attention so going to focus on that.

I'm finding it hard to know how to deal with his behaviour tbh and it's upsetting me that my sweet little boy seems so unsettled.

cara0463 Sat 03-Sep-16 21:06:09

Wow Thankyou so much for your reply! It's nice to know somebody's been through the same thing! I've got a reward chart that I'm going to start tomorrow. Hopefully some positive incentives will help. He kisses my belly and talks about his 'new sister' all the time, but maybe it is affecting him a lot more than he's letting on. Working full time and juggling it all is so hard. Fingers crossed he will stop being such a walking little attitude soon enough! grin Thankyou again xxx

cara0463 Sat 03-Sep-16 21:09:02

Lolly my little boy is so rough with his sister too! I don't think he means it but he gets very angrily over exited and pulls her around! He's also started punching and kicking things (not people) when things don't go his way. It's so hard isn't it but I suppose just being persistent and sticking to the same way of dealing with things is key sad xxxxx

PacificOcean Sat 03-Sep-16 21:40:06

I think when you have a well behaved child it can be a real shock when they go through a naughty phase! Just remember that it's normal behaviour - both for children to go through tricky phases, and for 6 year olds to not listen and be defiant. Just remember the basics - stay calm, be consistent, don't over react on the more minor stuff but be firm if he crosses a line. Remember that a new sibling is a big upheaval for him and it's natural for him to feel jealous and unsettled even if he didn't seem to feel this way last time. Be patient!

cara0463 Sat 03-Sep-16 22:15:33

Thankyou all for your advice. It's so appreciated xxxx

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