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stopping shouting at the DC

(4 Posts)
cheeseycharlie Tue 30-Aug-16 23:35:23

I want to stop shouting at DC when they are acting up. I grew up in a shouty house and it wasn't nice. I looked up some articles and found a plan to do with connecting with your own feelings and modelling emotional management, backed up with some practical tips for how to deal with the heat of the moment. So I'm going to give it a go.
However the plan asks you to commit to stop shouting to the people who can hold you to account : your children.
In other words, I have to tell my kids that I won't shout at them any more, perhaps even get myself a sticker reward chart. I like it in theory, but in practice I think the kids might see it as a game of 'let's see if we can get mummy to crack'.
DC are 7yo DD and 5yo DS.

Have you ever tried this sort of plan, did you tell the kids what you are doing, and how did it pan out for you?


VioletBam Wed 31-Aug-16 03:26:37

I wouldn't tell them. That seems like a recipe for disaster. As an adult you need to make your own choices and stick to them.

There's a moment...RIGHT before you shout where you make the decision to give in to it and do it or to take a deep breath and stop it.

Find that moment...take control.

Atenco Wed 31-Aug-16 03:44:47

I wouldn't tell them either. Better just to promise to yourself not to shout and little by little learnt a different way of doing things.

My mother used emotional blackmail and I hated it. She never hit me, just emotional blackmail. So I opted to hit my dd rather than use that, but I still found that, when push came to shove, I still used emotional blackmail. I'm not saying that in a defeatist way, just that we try our best and things get better little by little. And no-one even thinks of hitting my dgd.

cheeseycharlie Wed 31-Aug-16 07:03:24

I'm sorry to hear that atenco. It is so hard to break the cycle right? I promised I wouldn't be shouty like my mum was, but when push comes to shove that's what you know.
Thanks xx

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