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DD suddenly terrified of starting school

(18 Posts)
PickledLily Sun 28-Aug-16 21:52:17

DD starts reception this week. She's currently in preschool and has been really excited about going to 'big school' as she calls it.

However yesterday after an almighty tantrum, she told me she didn't want to go to school and has been clinging to me like a limpet ever since.

We've been on holiday and she has missed her friends, so I don't know if that's a factor. She doesn't know anyone going to her school. Maybe the reality has finally kicked in.

Any suggestions on how to help her feel more positive about it before Thursday? confused

greathat Sun 28-Aug-16 21:54:12

Are you on your local facebook group at all? Last year one of the mums of a child starting in reception suggested a meet up in the park so the children could meet each other before they started. The take up was pretty good

PickledLily Sun 28-Aug-16 21:57:11

There was a meet up but we were away. I'm working Tuesday/Wednesday, so no opportunity to meet anyone before the first day.

Sleeperandthespindle Sun 28-Aug-16 21:57:45

Mine suddenly announced he's not going either, despite it never crossing his mind to be worried until now! He's with his childminder this week until school starts next week, so I think will be okay once he's away from me!

PickledLily Sun 28-Aug-16 21:58:54

I should add that she's had a session at school with the other kids, just an hour, and was fine with it. She loves the teacher and the fact that they have some of the preschool toys in the classroom.

Sleeperandthespindle Sun 28-Aug-16 21:59:51

I make a conscious effort not to make a big deal about school. Brusque, kind and to the point. (I'm a teacher, none of us have any choice about whether to go or not!). This approach has worked very well so far with highly sensitive and easily anxious DD who is going I to y3.

PickledLily Sun 28-Aug-16 22:00:03

I'm hoping she'll be fine and it will blow over. But if it doesn't, it's going to be messy!

Sleeperandthespindle Sun 28-Aug-16 22:00:44

My DS has been unusually keen to 'play schools' with big sister for the last few days. Any older children around to do this?

PickledLily Sun 28-Aug-16 22:02:16

Haha! Yes, we've been playing schools a lot! School also wrote a 'this is a day at school' story which she has made me read every night.

Sleeperandthespindle Sun 28-Aug-16 22:04:58

My DS has become very 'controlling' and emotional in the last few days as he realises it's happening. Sister is so positive about school though and he had lots of visits with preschool, he can't think of any pitfalls really.

PickledLily Sun 28-Aug-16 22:10:05

I've not been bringing the subject up unless it's something practical and like you say, in a matter of fact manner. Doesn't seem to make any difference.

I know she'll be fine but I'm dreading a morning of tantrums getting her dressed. I had a vision of a leisurely saunter up the hill to school picking flowers and chatting. That vision is fast changing to be me dragging her up the road kicking and screaming.

PickledLily Sun 28-Aug-16 22:10:36

I've not been bringing the subject up unless it's something practical and like you say, in a matter of fact manner. Doesn't seem to make any difference.

I know she'll be fine but I'm dreading a morning of tantrums getting her dressed. I had a vision of a leisurely saunter up the hill to school picking flowers and chatting. That vision is fast changing to be me dragging her up the road kicking and screaming.

Sleeperandthespindle Sun 28-Aug-16 23:14:02

I felt it was going to be like that with my DD, but it never was. Easier now - they're at the childminders from7.30 so she gets the pleasure of screaming and crying picking flowers and skipping up the lane!

Moge Wed 31-Aug-16 07:28:41

Glad to find this thread. My DD has suddenly lost confidence too. Huge tantrums and hitting, throwing stuff at me etc. She says she'll be too shy to ask the teacher if she needs help (my suggestion when she said she would be too shy to do anything).
Any tips?

I'm calling the school this week to see if they will do a home visit - they don't have any Facebook groups, visits to the classroom, home visits as standard.

We don't know her teacher's name and its 2 form entry, so I am winging it when DD asks. DD didn't go to their school nursery and won't know anyone before she starts. I really feel for her but also am stressing about work, if she needs loads of half days.

MyBreadIsEggy Wed 31-Aug-16 07:35:42

There's a programme of CBeebies called "Time For School" that shows school as some kind of magical, fun-filled land of joy grin, would watching that help get her excitement about starting school back??

PickledLily Wed 31-Aug-16 17:57:23

Oh that's hard if there are no opportunities to meet teachers or children beforehand.

Bizarrely DD has now again decided (following 2 days of preschool) that she can't wait to go to school. Phew. Except there was a big tantrum when I told her she wasn't going for a full day confused can't win!

Witchend Wed 31-Aug-16 18:16:06

My dm used to say that it seemed quite common for children who were terribly excited about starting school being dragged in screaming. I was the opposite. grin

There's a programme of CBeebies called "Time For School" that shows school as some kind of magical, fun-filled land of joy and what happens when they arrive full of expectations and find it isn't what they expected from that. Think that might just store up problems for the future.

oobedobe Wed 31-Aug-16 18:17:11

I got my DD2 a couple of books for us to read. The Kissing Hand and "I am absolutely too small for school" which is Charlie and Lola. I think they help prepare/reassure them a bit.

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