6 year old behaviour- help!

[twokidsandadog]

My six year old girl goes to my mum and dad's once a week after school and once a week in the holidays. On several occasions now she has really behaved badly for them - today she chucked a massive paddy when it was time to leave the park and I think it just went downhill from there. I mean a full on toddler type tantrum including screaming. She does have a tendency for this type of behaviour but it's been a long time since she did it in public with me. It's usually when she doesn't get her own way and if she does it at home it of course means she definitely doesn't get what she wants, followed by a "consequence" e.g. No telly/ iPad. Today she got sent to bed as soon as we got home.
My mum thinks there is something wrong with her, that she is an unhappy child and I am of course the worst mum in the world.
As a bit of back story I had breast cancer last year and me and their dad separated earlier this year. So I do think for a little kid she has had a lot going on and as a consequence I am perhaps not as strict as I could be. My mum was a strict mum to me so our parenting styles do differ.
My mum and dad are at the point now where they don't want to have her anymore.
Any advice at all? Do you think I need to seek help for her? Perhaps she is unhappy (they see their dad loads, we pretty much get on, certainly in front of them) and I just don't know what to do. Sometimes her tantrums do seem out of control but are quite often fuelled by tiredness/hunger. I feel like I am failing ...

[twokidsandadog]

Shamelessly bumping as I need any advice that anyone is willing to give!

[NicLovesCheese]

Hello!
I'm sorry I'm no expert but I have an almost 6 yo and her behaviour seems to have escalated lately, I think it's maybe worry about school.
I could be wrong, but do you think her tantrum with your parents was that bad? I'm just imagining mine (who is used to my softly softly approach) reacting really badly to no warning about leaving the park, and doing the same! All kids have tantrums sometimes, it doesn't mean she's an unhappy child I'm sure.
I think you know her best and if you think she tends to strop when she's tired or hungry then that's pretty normal and nothing to be ashamed about. Also some grandparents simply can't cope, they've forgotten what it's like to deal with tantrums and only see it if they have the children for long periods.
If course I'm just going off what I've read into your post and probably making sweeping generalisations, but that's how it reads to me.
How do you feel about her behaviour, is it manageable for you? Have school said anything? X

[xmasadsboohiss]

OP - I really feel for you - both over the tantruming six year old and the unrealistic expectations of her grandparents. My DS (6) chucks tantrums like it's going out of fashion and is gobby and whiny to boot. I think it's pretty common and if there have been big changes in her life then it's not surprising at all I don't think. The main thing is don't tell yourself that you're doing a bad job - it sounds like you've have a very tough couple of years and you're doing a great job at managing your break up maturely and keeping everything tickity boo for the little ones.

Good luck!

[mandyemma13]

Maybe her Grandparents spoil her.
Tell her If she doesn't behave she won't see her Grandparents anymore. X