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Please help - 3.5 year old wetting pants constantly

(4 Posts)
Squiggles86 Mon 15-Aug-16 19:32:03


Really hope someone can help with this. We did initial potty training in October last year which went fairly well. No accidents after 3 weeks. Until December when she started wetting. We put her back in nappies and started again in Feb. All went well then started up again in April. She's been wetting roughly 5 times a day since although she's dry on nursery days (until she gets home that is).

The problem is mainly at home. I suspect it's when she's bored as she tends to be better when we're out for the day. She gets bored easily and I simply cannot (and will not) entertain her constantly while at home. I have a 1 year old to look after too. She can do it when there's a consequence to her wetting. E.g. today I said if you wet your pants we're going straight home from friends house (who had a bouncy castle). Miraculously she was completely dry and went to the toilet while there.

She doesn't respond to any type of reward system and it can even make it worse . Seems to highlight the problem to her almost. We have been completely ignoring her wetting for 2 months now bar telling her to get changed and it's just not working.

I'm at the end of my tether now. I just cant put up with the washing and this controlling behaviour any longer. We cant go anywhere without worrying that she's going to wet herself (ruin other people's carpets etc)

Has anyone got any suggestions? We've had our hv out 3 times but they don't have anything to suggest.


SpeakNoWords Mon 15-Aug-16 22:46:44

You probably already are, but are you reminding her to go to the toilet regularly and taking her there after a reasonable amount of time even if she says she doesn't want to go?

Squiggles86 Mon 15-Aug-16 23:06:39


We stopped reminding her for a long while unless we were leaving the house because it made it worse. I think the constant reminding just irritated her. She simply refuses to go if I insist and taking her there against her will would be near impossible. She does go at nursery without prompting.

MiaowTheCat Wed 17-Aug-16 16:37:21

We've just been through this - exact same age (there's a thread on it on potty training and other people replied - again - the same age again and again).

I got nanna in on the act (as I've got a small age gap and an older sibling who wasn't helping matters) and we've just basically went boot camp on her (in a kinder way).

First thing was we exploited the fact Tesco had ran out of nappies in her size - showed her the empty shelf and said that was it, we we had no more nappies apart from bedtime pull ups and she HAD to be a big girl now.

She's a clever sod and was into the habit of eeking out wee a drop at a time to maximise chocolate button gains - so we changed it so she earnt little tiny sweets in a jar and got them at the end of the day, and lost them if she weed or pooed in her pants. That helped a bit to see the consequences of messing.

One thing we had was she was doing a dribble and not staying put to finish the job - so we put books in the bathroom for toilet reading to slow her down a bit... and we made getting cleaned up so bloody boring for her it wore her down to peeing on the loo being a more preferable option basically!

She gets told she IS going to the loo before meals to make sure she's not leaving it too long - and you've got to watch her as she'll do things like pulling her pants down and coming back into the lounge to con you into thinking she's been!

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