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8 yr old temper and outburst

(8 Posts)
weeonion Sun 14-Aug-16 19:03:51

I dont know if I handled a situation very well this afternoon so would appreciate some opinions.

I visited a friend. We see each other about once a month. Her youngest boy is my god son and I have a good relationship with all 4.

Her eldest girl is 8. Today she was insisting on watching a certain film, which her mum couldn't find on the TV. She went ballastic - screaming, shouting, kicking at her mum, throwing things. My friend let her do it, didn't tell her to stop and sat being hit and kicked. I sat beside the youngest 2 kids and just continued playing a fame with them. Eldest girl kept screaming for ages (in reality about 5 mins) and was so loud the little ones and I couldn't hear each other. She eventually went into garden and chucked toys and furniture around. My friend didn't say anything about what happened, picked up the cushions and stuff that eldest girl had thrown around.

She went upstairs to the loo and eldest girl came back in screaming. I had brought all kids a few bits b bobs each. She picked up the book I had brought god son and ripped off the covers. I told her not to do that. She continued ripping pages. Her wee brother went to get the book and she punched him in the face, splitting his lip. I shouted at her to stop went to comfort him.
She came over, screaming and kicking, hitting at me. I told her to stop it now but she was incensed. I held her shoulders to keep her at arms length and shouted for her mum. The youngest 2 were howling and she tried to break free to get to her wee brother.

Her mum came back to this maelstrom and said to eldest "oh no, are you still cross?". That was it. Her girl was still screaming and lashing out at me. I said to friend 'jesus Christ, do , here". I lifted eldest and carried her outside, shutting the patio behind me when I came back into the house. Eldest girl was flinging herself against it.

I said to friend 'i think I should go now?", meaning that I probably wasn't helping much, gave the wee ones a hug and left.

Friend texted shortly after saying it was lovely to see me and the kids enjoyed having me there. I replied that is was lovely to see them but I found it stressful with eldest girl and hoped she was ok after her outburst.

No word back from friend.

How should I have dealt with it? Should I have stuck around??

Tiggeryoubastard Sun 14-Aug-16 19:09:32

Your friend sounds shit. I'd be calling social services at that. Hurting the younger one deliberately and your friend ignoring it is unforgivable as a person and not acceptable in a parent.

weeonion Sun 14-Aug-16 20:14:45

Tiggery - today was the worst I have seen. I have seen eldest girl lose it before but not to this extent. She is very rough with her younger siblings. My friend isva pretty quiet person who hates raising her voice / getting angry but I really feel she should have done something more.

Tiggeryoubastard Sun 14-Aug-16 23:12:44

Those children (yes, even the troublesome one) need help that your friend is unwilling/unable to provide. They need your assistance to access that help. You would be complicit if you don't contact social services.

CodyKing Sun 14-Aug-16 23:22:02

How does she behave in school?

gandalf456 Sun 14-Aug-16 23:25:47

Do you think your friend, if quiet, might be crushed by the behaviour, hence the apparent underreaction? Plus, you were there so she perhaps felt she couldn't retaliate with screaming and shouting herself. I would have been mortified, though, and would have sent a text apologising. Her text to you is quite odd, isn't it? I don't think you were wrong to say something.

weeonion Mon 15-Aug-16 08:12:55

Cody - she is doing great in school. Her last report was glowing.

Gandalf - she seemed so resigned to it. Possibly it happens alot and I haven't seen it before or maybe it was a one off and she didn't know how to react.

I am not sure whether to bring it up with her again or just pretend I saw nothing. She may well have dealt with it after I left. I didn't want to intervene and undermine her.

CodyKing Mon 15-Aug-16 08:30:12

Well if she's ok at at school she can behave -

Sometimes you know when a child is in that much on a temper - doing something can actually fuel the flames - they are in a mist and not really responsible for their actions - so doing nothing calms the situation a lot quicker - I don't know what to advise really

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