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Behaviour/development

Is my three month old normal?

9 replies

carpetfish · 13/08/2016 21:58

I have a three month old DD. Almost all of the time, she hates to be held or cuddled! She'll tolerate it for five minutes or so (or if she is getting milk) but then she'll get grizzly, then start properly crying.

If you put her down on the floor she's really happy, very alert and interested in her surroundings. She loves looking at faces and if you lean over her she'll smile and "talk" and she makes good eye contact.

Everyone else I know with babies this age is always complaining that they can't put them down, they want to be cuddled all the time, they cry if they leave the room, they have to co sleep. My DD is the complete opposite, she's happiest on the floor or in her bouncy chair, she hates being held, she couldn't care less if I leave the room and she's very happy to sleep in her cot!

I know I should be grateful as in general she's quite a chilled out baby, but I can't help being paranoid that something is wrong. I have spent too much time googling and have found people saying that babies not liking physical contact or cuddles is a sign of autism!

It probably doesn't help that the trend right now seems to be for "attachment parenting" and I keep reading how babies who are held lots are more secure . I'd happily spend more time holding her if she didn't hate it so much!

Anyone else have the same?

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LilyRose16 · 13/08/2016 22:05

I have the exact same thing with my 5 month old, she is a perfectly happy baby, just doesn't like to be cuddled or held too much. I've never been concerned about it though as I just assumed it's part of her personality. Never heard it might be a link to autism before. And I'm not going to worry about it at all. I actually count myself very lucky as she is a great sleeper (I'm aware this may change) and is a very happy baby in general. I can put her down and she nods off to sleep by herself, usually with a comforter. If she didn't like to be held much and cried all the time then yes maybe I'd be concerned but I really don't think it's anything to worry about!

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carpetfish · 13/08/2016 22:34

Thanks for your reply lily. I am sure I am just being paranoid, it is in my nature to worry about everything!

I agre I would be more concerned if she didn't seem happy the rest of time, but in general she is very contented. Just likes her own space!

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carpetfish · 14/08/2016 08:26

Bump?

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mammmamia · 14/08/2016 08:29

My nephew was a bit like this. Born in July in hot weather and always a really hot baby who didn't like to be held. He's five now. Totally fine.

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DocMcFanjo · 14/08/2016 08:36

No personal experience but I've read on plenty of threads here about people who are "attachment parents with a Gina Forde baby".

The parents would be keen to do loads of cuddling, baby wearing, baby-led whatever, but the baby is actually very much "put me down and leave me to it" and often ends up being much happier left to sit and observe from their bouncy chair, or settle themselves to sleep etc.

I think it's just different little personalities and totally normal.

I know for a fact my sister was an über-cuddly baby whilst I was more "aloof" (as your DC seems to be). We are both now perfectly loving, happy, demonstrative adults, though I still tend to be a bit less tactile and outgoing than DSis. Takes all sorts.

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carpetfish · 14/08/2016 09:00

Thank you. I think she is a bit of a Gina Ford baby actually. She does really well with routine!

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scarednoob · 14/08/2016 21:04

Both my DB and I were like that. My grandma used to say that she had to wait for us to be crying before she could cuddle us, as otherwise it just made us cry!

As far as I am aware, we are both fine...

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rallytog1 · 17/08/2016 21:41

My dd1 was exactly like that. The sure fire way to cheer her up was to put her on the floor and ignore her.

She's now 3yo and is happy, confident, lively, clever, gregarious (and bloody loud). Like grown ups, all babies have different personalities - some are more 'at one' with the world than others. I worried about it a lot but there are many benefits to a personality like this - she was never upset at being left with other people, never had a shy phase and has always just been really comfortable in her own skin.