separation anxiety... I think(2 Posts)
Hi, I'm posting to see if anyone has had a similar experience and can offer any advice or thoughts. My son (almost 14 months) has been with a childminder who has two seemingly lovely assistants and six other children at the setting who are all the same age up to a year older than my son. He's been going to her 4 days a week since he was 9 months old and, until very recently seemed to have settled in very well. In fact, I saw a big improvement in him settling into a routine, willing to feed himself more and go down easily for naps. He also started sleeping 10 hours straight at night. But over the last 2 weeks I have received daily messages from the childminder saying he has been very very upset. He cant be put down and screams constantly even whilst eating and wont go down for naps. I've had to go and collect him several times and as soon as he's with me he perks up, we go to the park and he toddles off happily as if I'm not even there! We have some building work in the house at the moment which is obviously disruptive and my husband works abroad very frequently meaning my son gets used to him being at home, only for him to leave again. I'm very distressed by the thought of him crying all day long and missing out on much needed naps. He's still eating well and sleeping though though has begun to wake at 4.30/5 instead of 5.30. At home he seems his usual happy self. I don't know whether to investigate other childcare options or ride it out. I really like the childminder but do feel she needs to be a part, alongside his dad and I, of getting him through this phase, if he is to get over it. She texts me to tell me his screaming isn't fair on the other children and that its making her irritable with her own kids. I'm worried I'll have to stop work temporarily if he doesn't improve. I'd love to hear thoughts/experiences in common.
If I were you, I would be looking into different childcare options so you have a choice.
The first step is to have a sit down meeting with your childminder and discuss what you feel is causing the problems. By collecting him each day, he is being rewarded for his behaviour (It seems you believe he is behaving like this to get picked up). If she cannot help come to a solution, then you need an alternative arrangement.
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