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Help with 3.5yo meltdowns

(3 Posts)
Chamonix1 Fri 29-Jul-16 14:40:38

At times she is the most wonderful, caring little girl. Honestly, lovely.
She also however has HUGE meltdowns on a. Regular basis, totally loses control.
I have trouble getting her to walk near me, hold my hand etc she runs off, seeking attention- looking back and laughing. I try to ignore this and calmly ask her to come back but she will literally run off to a dangerous extent.
When she doesn't get what she wants she screams, kicks, slaps my face! Throws herself to the floor and I have to desperately try to carry her to the car or some point of safety.
It's actually getting to the point where I dread going out, I really want to praise her and do when I can but it doesn't happen often.
I feel as if I'm spending all day trying to get her to stop doing dangerous things, she ignored everything I say.
The past 2 days I haven't gone out bar to walk the dog because I can't cope with it, we end up having a worse day than her just staying at home and playing.
I just want her to enjoy her childhood and feel as if she must feel she can't get it right, because if I'm honest she rarely does.
How do I deal with said meltdowns, how can I prevent them, can I?
I'm very confused and feel as if I've really let her down.
Any advice on how to deal with a very strong willed, clever and active child who will go to all lengths to get wag at she wants would be appreciated!

Sarahmumto5 Sat 30-Jul-16 14:00:46

Hello, You are not alone and this is totally normal. I have 4 boys and 1 daughter so my view is from a parent perspective. Firstly, you have not let her down and tantrums cannot be prevented. Although you do tend to notice other people's perfectly behaved children, but believe me there is no such thing. I totally understand how your feeling with not going feel it's really not worth the hassle however some how needs must and you have to go out and the same thing happens again. It is just her age and pushing boundaries. She will grow out of it but it is incredibly testing. I have a son of similar age and my conversation in the evening to hubby is usually I'm not going out again it's just too stressful. But I do. You cant stop them having their melt downs. You need to be firm but fair, always consistent and most of all 'stay calm' (I know it's not easy). When he runs away and usually throws himself on the floor I stand beside him (after I've caught up) and say nothing and he will look up at me eventually as if to say why are you not reacting. Yes it takes a bit more time but it works. I was in m&s cafe the other week and he had a grade 1 meltdown out of nowhere and for no reason but I left him beside my legs whilst everyone was looking and staring, I gave him no attention whatsoever and within c.7 mins he just got up and sat on the chair and drank his juice, back to normal happy chappy. Any attention to a little child , bad or good is attention and they are very clever knowing how to achieve it. This is just my parenting view but I have been through it and currently going through it and they do grow out of won't be long,(i tell myself this daily as I've been through it a few times but I still need reminding) so deep breaths and remember keep calm, keep consistent, firm but fair and most of all remember your really not on your own. X

doodlebug34 Sun 31-Jul-16 02:16:25

I have the same problem with my 3 year old. It's a new thing and literally seems to have happened just after she turned 3. I'm not doing anything differently but I am at a total loss. Removing privileges makes no difference. I think I've tried most things.

If I have any breakthroughs I will let you know!

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