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4 Month old constantly cries at my parents

(16 Posts)
antony6462 Fri 29-Jul-16 12:06:30

Hi Everyone.

Im Ant, hope its ok ive signed up here but i could really do with some advice.

My daughter is 4 months old. Since she was born i have been taking her to my parents on a Thursday evening to give her mum a night off and i want her to spend as much time as possible with my parents.

The last month or so she has done nothing but cry when there, I've never heard her cry like that anywhere else. Its so bad i facetimed her mum to see if it would cheer her up and so her mum could see what she was like at my parents.

Her mum was shocked at how bad she was and eventually drove to my parents. This quietened her down a little bit but not much.

Its literally as soon as we walk in the door she starts, we leave she stops. When we get home she is fine.

Her mum can leave me alone with her at home, in coffee shops and shes fine. its just at my parents.

Shes fine with her parents and family and I'm starting to find it upsetting that i cant spend time with my family with her.

Anybody got any ideas/advice on what i can do or try?

antony6462 Fri 29-Jul-16 12:08:40

Oh and we have tried distracting her with toys and the TV but it doesn't work.

We usually have to take her for a walk around the streets until she falls asleep and hope she doesn't wake up for a little while

jobrum Fri 29-Jul-16 12:20:19

Ooooh, tough. Is their house louder than yours and your parents in law's? I know with our dd when we took her somewhere that had eg loud tv, lots of people talking and moving around her it would upset her.

PirateFairy45 Fri 29-Jul-16 12:39:20

Meet your parents away from their home, it maybe something in their home.

If that doesn't work and DD still cries then meet parents separately outside the home.

It could be a smell on them or in their home, or a sound that upsets your daughter.

My DD was the same way. It turned out DD was freaked out by my dads beard, dad shaved then she was happy!

They are now inseparable!

antony6462 Fri 29-Jul-16 12:45:20

Not really. We take her to church on a sunday and its really loud at times and lots of people and shes fine.

They do have 2 dogs, but on a sunday we meet my parents and the dogs and go for a coffee and shes fine. she has been around the dogs plenty of times.

Fomalhaut Fri 29-Jul-16 17:45:40

Maybe she associates being taken there with being separated from her mum? Four months is very young still. Some babies are just really clingy and need their parents. Perhaps stop the visits where you leave her and just spend time with them instead.

Is your wife ok with your parents having the baby for a night a week by the way? Has this been going on since birth? I don't mean to critical but whose idea was that, if my parents in law had demanded the baby one evening a week I'd have flatly refused.

Fomalhaut Fri 29-Jul-16 17:48:14

We also see a lot of threads on here where the mother in law had demanded having the baby alone from birth and it's caused huge stress. Being separated from my son when he was so tiny was very unpleasant . It was nice to see the in laws and nice for them to, say, take him out for a walk while I rested, but one evening a week? No way

BlackAmericanoNoSugar Fri 29-Jul-16 18:12:49

I wonder if there is a loud,high-pitched noise in the house, small children can hear higher sounds than adults.

antony6462 Fri 29-Jul-16 18:20:35

stopping the visits where i leave her? that wont be a problem because that doesn't happen.

As said its upsetting because i cant spend time with my daughter and my parents.

My parents have not demanded everything.

And yes her mother is fine with my visiting my parents with her

antony6462 Fri 29-Jul-16 18:23:39

FOMALHAUL like i said she doesn't get left with my parents.
So thanks for your advice but it doesn't help as you have misread

Finola1step Fri 29-Jul-16 18:24:29

It may sound crazy, but I agree that there could be a high pitched sound or a particular smell that your DD can't tolerate. Something stimulating the senses.

Tralala33 Fri 29-Jul-16 18:32:14

My son was funny around his grandparents (and they always came to ours) around this age, especially if they came over in the afternoon. He's perfectly fine with them now. He just didn't want anybody else other than me or his dad at that age. He was better if they came over in the morning but they rarely did as they couldn't be bothered despite is trying to explain that a baby at 6pm doesn't want to be passed around relative strangers.

Have you tried them coming to you,or you visiting at a different time? Babies can be difficult in the evening anyway, they are tired and overstimulated after a whole day, so going to another house with all new sights and sounds when all they want is mum or dad can be stressful for them.

Fomalhaut Fri 29-Jul-16 18:33:23

My apologies, I misread that.

It could be something in the house. Noise? Smell? Babies have very sharp senses.
Sometimes they are just illogical like that though...My ds has one absolutely lovely aunt whom he just wails at. No idea why. He also is inconsolable if anyone sneezes.
Do they by any chance have one of the ultrasonic mouse repellent things? I can hear that when I'm at my parents and it drives me nuts, it may sound crazy but you can get ear defenders for babies. Perhaps borrow a pair - that'll tell you if it's sound.

Perhaps try something as simple as going in a different door while distracting her with something pleasant?

BertieBotts Fri 29-Jul-16 18:36:08

How weird. Yes try ear defenders! Or see if they can unplug something - mouse repeller thing or wireless router or something else that's running all the time. (If it is a wireless router you can change the settings on it so it outputs at a different frequency which should be less audible).

antony6462 Fri 29-Jul-16 20:11:55

I had thought about sounds and smells. As my parents do run a dog grooming business from home.

I'll try going around earlier to see if it helps.

My parents do come round here and my daughter is fine with them.

It's something on the house or cause it's the evening she's a bit moody

BertieBotts Fri 29-Jul-16 20:14:23

Oh could indeed be timing - there is a "witching hour" usually at about 6-7pm when they just want to snuggle into mum and feed all the time.

If the visits aren't working at this time of day try a different time?

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