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Can't tolerate frustration

(2 Posts)
Misty9 Sat 16-Jul-16 18:12:16

Ds is nearly 5 and we've been having the same issues for over 2 years now. He just cannot tolerate frustration. So if we say no or if he can't do something like manipulate a toy, then he screams shouts and throws himself on the floor. There is no reasoning with him and if we say "in X mins" then he will have a tantrum about how long is X minutes! It's driving me slowly insane...

The other big issue is his completely changeable mood - he'll be having one of said tantrums one minute and making jokes the next! It's exhausting and usually leaves me reeling from the tantrum part and unable to just switch into being playful...and so the cycle continues.

We've had some input in the past but no advice was really given, partly due to my profession...but it's different when it's your own!

Anyone experience something similar? It's worse when he's tired so we're dreading him starting school in spetember. He's just had two weeks settling and that's probably why he's so tired today.

Any tips, other than alcohol...?!

minipie Mon 18-Jul-16 17:15:29

DD is a bit like this, I sympathise. Apparently DH was just the same as a child (MIL didn't mention that before we had DC...)

What helps I think is if you model frustration and overcoming frustration. So point out all the times you don't get what you want or can't do something first time and point out your reaction.

"Oh this is really tricky, I'm not sure I'll be able to do it, I'm getting a bit annoyed with it now, but I'll keep trying, oh look hooray I kept trying and I managed it" modelling perseverance.

Or "Oh I wish we could go out in the garden but it's raining, oh dear" modelling a different reaction (not a strop) to being disappointed.

I've been trying to do this - and now every so often when DD doesn't get her own way, she says "oh DEAR" in a tearful voice rather than having a strop, or says "I kept trying and I managed it" so I think the message is gradually getting through...

still plenty of tantrums though!

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