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Neighbours son kissing my child !!!!

(7 Posts)
mzmum78 Sat 16-Jul-16 08:39:50

First time poster here but really need some advice about something that happened with another child that is really bothering me.

At my 7 year old daughters party on Sunday our neighbor from a few doors down came with their kids.
We know them somewhat well as the kids go to her school (different ages) and have played together quite a few times both at our home and theirs. Plus the mother is in a book club with other mums that I attend that we do once a month so we have had a few evenings together- however my husband and I have very little in common with her and her husband and it's mainly based on a social street of neighbours and kids that get on quite well.
Anyway we have a pool and They have come a few times to swim so I invited them to the party on Sunday

So here it gets weird

I also have a 3 year old son and later in the day my son (3) and their son (8 years old) had been inside after swimming for a while playing iPad and I came inside the house to let everyone inside know it was cake time.

I Found their son (8) and my son (3) in a "clinch" on the sofa !! Don't know how else to describe it. Was so weird. They were lying together and kissing on the lips. In a weird way!!!
At the time I just went all "school marm" and said oh for goodness sake come along its time for cake - as I was stressed being the host and kind of shooed them on and didn't really absorb it at that time !!

I really thought no more of it at the time as was so busy with the party but then they (parents) ended up being the last ones to leave and when it was time for them to go - I once again found my son and theirs what I would call snogging!!! It was so ridiculous I was just like "oh for goodness sake come along now it's time to go" but then after it made me feel extremely worried
My son did not seem bothered!!! In fact I asked him about it later and he was just saying oh yea we were kissing. I told him you don't kiss friends like that.
However my son is 3 and this boy is 8. I think i would feel differently if it was two 3 year olds you know? And it's nothing to do with both being boys - it is the age difference.
And I'm also worried that because my son didn't seem worried that perhaps it isn't the first time ?

I'm the only one who saw either incident so no one can back me up about if I'm reading too much into it . My husband believes I saw it but can't really comment on the context as didn't see for himself.
But this doesn't sit right with me at all? This was weird right ?

But what the hell do I do ?? I can't tell my neighbor / friend as am basically accusing her son of being a kiddy fiddler in training !
But I know for a fact I'm never leaving him alone with my son again

The only thing I think I can do is ensure that they're never alone again ? I mean loads of people were around on Sunday but we were all outside and they were inside
I seriously feel sick that I may have exposed My son to something awful

Jamiesmuddyknees Sat 16-Jul-16 08:58:14

You are right to be worried. I would called NSPCC to get some rl advice from experts. There is a big age gap between the two boys.

Lweji Sat 16-Jul-16 09:05:48

I think they are too young to really worry.
The first thing I'd do would probably be to talk to the mother to see if he's been exposed to that behaviour on TV or at home.
They may be trying things they see as other forms of play.
I'd just have a chat about kissing on lips being for adults (the 3 year old).

Flisspaps Sat 16-Jul-16 09:13:15

Kiddy fiddler is a disgusting term.

And then what Lweji said.

Ditsy4 Sat 16-Jul-16 09:16:16

I realise you were shocked but the second time I would have said" That's in appropriate behaviour. "
I don't think it is anything to make too much of because at eight he is still quite young. I would have a quiet word with him about behaviour at your house or bring it up with mum when the kids are not around. If you can.

99percentchocolate Sat 16-Jul-16 09:16:56

I think I would trust your instincts on this one. You saw it and saw the context - if it made you feel uncomfortable then I would listen to that and keep away.
I understand the conflict you must be feeling though - we had a similar situation with our 4yo DD and an 8yo boy neighbour. Not kissing but we kept catching him stroking her hair, smelling her hair, trying to touch her. It made both DP and I feel very uncomfortable but we didn't feel we could say anything to his parents so we just had to keep them apart

Spottytop1 Sat 16-Jul-16 09:31:45

8 years old is old enough to know that you don't kiss like that..

I'd speak to your son and also speak to the Mother.

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