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3 year old son just won't listen. Help!

(10 Posts)
Blessing123 Mon 11-Jul-16 19:28:31

My son just turned 3 and he just won't listen. If he wants something and you tell him no he crys loud if we're out he will drop to the ground if your walking with him he will pull away and drag himself on the ground and it's really embarrassing I sometimes dread taking him out. At home when I ask him to do something he won't and just smiles and thinks its funny.
Im really lost at what to do the naughty corner doesn't work he will just scream until u take him out. Its really stressful as im about to have another baby and my 1st child was nothing like this

Please help

sashh Tue 12-Jul-16 05:27:38

1) he is three

2) if he screams you take him out of the naughty corner - so screaming = get what I want sometimes

mumhum Tue 12-Jul-16 05:33:38

Take toys away instead of naughty corner.

StepfauxWife Tue 12-Jul-16 07:59:29

We had this with our incredibly defiant DD. It was so hard as I'd just had another. Getting her dressed was nigh on impossible.

What we found worked was making things into a game - shall we have a race, who's going to be the winner, etc. Have a Google of "playful parenting". It changed my mindset and made things a lot less stressful.

A liberal use of treats works too - "let's do X now so we might have time to watch a little bit of television".

Basically, competition and bribery work for us.

isthistoonosy Tue 12-Jul-16 08:31:00

Do you get down and explain things to him so we have to get dressed so we can go to the park, have to tidy up the Lego so we have space to play with the cars etc

Combined with some racing, singing games etc and a bit of bribery eg stay away from the baby until she is asleep and you can have a yogurt.

That's stops most tantrums for our almost 3 yr old.

Blessing123 Tue 12-Jul-16 09:26:12

Thanks but not very helpful

1) I am aware of his age but that does not mean he is unable to listen

2) if he's screaming constantly for up to 10 mins then yes im going to take him out of the naughty corner and try something else

Blessing123 Tue 12-Jul-16 09:29:17

Thank you I will keep trying with turning things into a game it does work sometimes I'll keep at it.

minipie Tue 12-Jul-16 10:26:51

We use a combination of turning things into games and counting to three. Much to my surprise counting to three seems to work most of the time. You do have to follow it through a few times at the start, to show you mean business, ie if they haven't done X by three then you have to do something like take a toy away, but after doing that a few times it does seem to work and I never get to three these days.

PansOnFire Tue 12-Jul-16 14:01:50

My 3yo is similar to this and it seems to have come from nowhere. I don't have many useful suggestions but one thing that seems to have worked is giving a countdown before things happen. So we will start at 5 fingers - in 5 we are going to tidy the Lego up - then go down to 4,3 etc. We decide when the next number is up according to how he's reacting, if he tantrums after the previous number then we wait until he's calm and then move on. Over time the count down has got quicker as he responds more reasonably (if that's possible with a 3 year old!). The warning and preparation seems to help him with transitions from one activity to another.

With getting dressed I find that if I'm nearby he'll play up and refuse so I end up battling to get his clothes on him. If I breezily leave them next to him and say he needs to put them on before walking away then he tends to just get on with it. Sometimes I just use the tv as a distraction and battle anyway if he's being particularly difficult.

I think tantrums out and about will always happen and I totally know the feeling of wanting the ground to swallow you up. I use loads of praise for things like walking sensibly and not running off. I also give him little tasks like "what can you see that is blue?" Or "how many hats can we see". It makes it hard to concentrate on shopping etc but it makes things less stressful. Sometimes I use little stickers for every 'minute' he holds onto the pram which he can then trade in for a treat.

Competition does work but only if he gets to lose sometimes too, otherwise it has the opposite effect.

I hoping this is just a phase and that he'll snap out of it soon. It's looking doubtful for me though as I was awful for tantrums until I was about 6! Very stubborn. Good luck, and next times he's having a tantrum remember that there are a million other 3 year olds doing the same thing.

Blessing123 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:54:50

Thanks @pansonfire

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