Sorry in advance for this being long but I want to get as much detail as I can in. After some reassurance/advice perspective on DD10's development.
Firstly I'll start off by saying she is uber friendly, very chatty (to the point of not stopping for breath sometimes!), kind, thoughtful and loving. She can also be defiant, head strong, persistent and argumentative (but only to her brother).
All normal I'm sure. But what I can't shake is that she appears not as 'grown up' as her peers socially. She has good friends. I've noticed when they are together that she doesn't seem to 'get' what they're saying. For example, one of the children was talking about Malala, the girl who was shot by the Taliban and how she inspired her. DD didn't understand inspired, she just giggled and carried on playing. Later when they were discussing war and the 'bad people who are not real Muslims' she didn't understand either and just got the wrong end of the stick.
I don't know whether she appears normal to her peers but I suspect not because she tells me how they sometimes have told her to 'stop going on about things'. Recently it was her birthday and she incessantly told everyone she saw in the run up to it. It's like she's always 100mph.
Often when I have answered a question she asks me again even though I've given her the answer. She doesn't stop and think before talking and she often says inappropriate things and interrupts adults for hugs and to tell them her news.
She hugged the dentist three times the other day because she liked her. She isn't ever quiet. There is always something going on. She gets bored easily and gets distracted very easily.
She is struggling at school. She is average for literacy but behind for writing and maths. She loves reading. We have had an EP chat to us (H and I not together, he left very suddenly in April) and his conclusion was that she is not in the right headspace to concentrate at school due to attachment issues. This of course is devastating for me because I feel I have let her down with how I've brought her up. Obviously her dad leaving has had an affect but she was like this before, perhaps worse now. She seems him 2-3 times a week. I am strict but loving. I think I do too much for her, this could be a contributing factor, maybe I am enabling her immaturity?
I feel silly because I want her just to be happy and not have to grow up too quickly. But then I can't help comparing her to her peers and worrying.
She needs to complete tests for entry to secondary and it worries me such a lot about how she'll do and which school she'll end up at. I feel that she has slow processing speed but because she's not been formally accessed. For example, if I ask her what 10-8 is she knows it's 2 but she takes ages to answer! It's like there is a barrier in her brain and then it suddenly unlocks, just really slowly!
If you got this far, thank you!
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Worried about DD10-long, sorry. Need some perspective/advice
13 replies
OrganisedNot · 03/07/2016 14:56
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