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Behaviour/development

People commenting that DD is a boy!

2 replies

Em77ma · 01/07/2016 20:47

This is my first post, please be gentle!
My youngest daughter is 11, she has always been a Tom boy - she has lots of boys as friends, likes football, sporty not girly at all. I have no qualms about this what so ever, as long as she's happy. She has hair down to her chin but no fringe, she dresses sportily - jogging bottoms and jumpers mostly but not boy clothes, just no pink!
Recently she keeps being referred to as a boy - this is by adults, although a couple of years ago when we moved to a new area the kids did keep calling her a boy.
She says it's fine, that it doesn't bother her but she's quite, keeps her feelings to herself, I'm so worried that it is bothering her and knocking her confidence. I have also considered that maybe she's transgender (I don't think so though) but don't want to mention this in case it isn't that all and then she also thinks that I think she looks like a boy too!

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VioletBam · 02/07/2016 04:31

Unless she shows discomfort or begins to question her own preferences, I think you should relax.

By continuing to support her in her choices you are doing all you need to do. Don't preempt anything. If she hasn't complained then it should be ok.

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dogdrifts · 02/07/2016 05:15

dd2 is the same. Most times I ignore, but for things like chest x rays I intervene and say 'do you need HER to take her top off?' and then the doc double takes and hands her a gown. Really it isn't a problem unless they see it as a problem. Currently dd2 doesn't - and if I happen to mention she might want to choose something else to wear except her brother's cast offs, I get a withering stare or an eye roll. She's happy. She's 12 now, almost 13. Tall and skinny. I suspect she will start playing around a bit with her own sense of style (whatever that is) in due course, but at the moment she isn't bothered and will wear whatever is to hand. She claimed all of her brothers t shirts when he turned man-sized practically overnight, so I assume she is comfortable. She does occasionally wear her sister's cast offs, but doesn't usually wear clothes that she has been given herself (grandparents etc) as presents. She hasn't yet developed a shopping gene, but I'm not a big shopper myself and mostly live in jeans.

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