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almost 2yo DS - how to deal with his behaviour?

(5 Posts)
GlitteryFluff Fri 01-Jul-16 13:36:01

DS is 2 in August.

I don't know how to handle him in certain situations (my first child). He doesn't say many words yet so hard to explain things/get him to understand - I think he has ASD and we're seeing professionals about this - incase that's relevant.

What do you do when you're at soft play/playgroup and your DC pushes another child? He's just started doing this. Today he walked over a pushed a child over. I told him not to push other children, made him sit with me for a a minute or so (he was tantrumming at first but then calmed down but was lying on the floor) then a few moments later I said right shall we go play nicely and he got up and we went to play. I suppose a time out? Was that too much for such a young child? Would just telling him off be enough? But then I don't know if he understands 'no pushing' yet. So would he feel like there's no consequence for his actions?

Next question, what do you do when your DC throw tantrums because you've told them off? So for example he's pulled all of the washing out the washing basket. I tell him not to do that, help mummy put it back. He refuses. I bring him to the washing basket and pile of clothes and start doing it and ask him to do it too. He refuses. Starts rolling around the floor, screaming, crying, kicking his legs etc. What should I do? (Part of me just thinks do it myself 1 to the save the drama and 2 he is only little still. But then the other part of me doesn't want him to grow up thinking he can trash stuff/not help tidy up etc) I left him for a few minutes on his own, then said again shall we go pick up the washing and put my hand out so he held my hand we went to the washing and he straight away started picking it up.

Basically I'm struggling with discipline/tantrums - I don't know what I should be doing!

What do you do?

PatPhelan Fri 01-Jul-16 15:16:19

I'm in pretty much the same situation, my ds1 is 2 in August as well. Yesterday he threw a massive tantrum over coming back inside from being out so whilst he was on the floor screaming I started dancing and acting silly above him and me being silly helped diffuse the situation.

No is a huge tantrum trigger for him at the moment and distraction generally works, other times I'm at a loss. I do send him to his room if he repeatedly does something I've told him not to with a warning before.

I'll be following this thread for advice!

jessplussomeonenew Fri 01-Jul-16 15:29:25

I find the advice this website makes a lot of sense to me, lots of gentle but firm suggestions: www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/toddlers

greatscott81 Fri 01-Jul-16 19:01:29

I let my tiny human vent her anger for a little while and then go and have a hug. By that point all she wants is to be held and we are ok again. This sounds very easy, but believe me, it's like seeing the devil come out of my gorgeous little girl!!! She had a 40 minute tantrum about a broken biscuit the other night . . .

corythatwas Tue 05-Jul-16 15:53:08

Your reaction at the playgroup seems fine. It is enough to make him stop and think, and (importantly) it will make the other child (and their parent) see that you are dealing with the problem. I found at this age damage limitation is quite important.

If you suspect it is more of an ongoing problem the next step up would be to go straight home.

As for tantrums, don't think there is a lot you can do except try to ride them out. Make sure the tantrummer is in a place where he can't hurt himself or others and then ignore. Btw I think he is quite young to be punished or told off for not helping to tidy up; he doesn't really get the concept of tidiness or why you are asking him, so at this age I think it is better to treat any tidying up he does like a game. If he doesn't want to play, just do it yourself.

Again, I think you handled it very well in the scenario you describe.

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