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Has anyone had problems with their children in the last term of preschool?

(16 Posts)
SlightlyUnhingedTapps Thu 30-Jun-16 16:00:20

I don't know if the two are related,but my youngest ds has been really difficult in the last few weeks. His preschool are calling me almost every day to tell me about some wild tantrum he's had. Today they said they had to clear all the other children out into the garden. He is also very emotional at home. I can't get through to him at all. I thought it was just a phase as he's starting school in September. But I am more concerned now as the Preschool want to film him. They think it will help them figure out what the problem is.

MiaowTheCat Thu 30-Jun-16 21:12:23

Dd1 is definitely suffering from big fish in small pond at the moment and ready to move on, as I think are a lot of her friends.

The idea is just dawning that school doesn't run as a nice extra alongside preschool and it's really unsettled her, despite her apparent confidence. It's having an impact on her behaviour as well

christinarossetti Thu 30-Jun-16 21:19:04

Having to clear other children out of the garden because of a child's 'wild tantrums' sounds pretty extreme.

The filming idea sounds unusual to say the least. What are their current thoughts on what is troubling your ds? What strategies are they currently employing? Is their behaviour policy clear and robust?

Have you taken him to the GP to rule out any physical illness or pain?

SlightlyUnhingedTapps Thu 30-Jun-16 21:29:48

It only started in the last week or two. So I haven't even thought about the GP. They haven't told me about a strategy. Mostly they tell me I am not disciplining him properly and that his behaviour is my fault. They also told me last week they had to drag him to the thinking mat. Which concerns me. But I don't know if I am a bit sensitive about the whole thing.

teacher54321 Thu 30-Jun-16 21:34:00

Ds is being an absolute Terror at the moment, very volatile and unpredictable. His eating has gone up the spout, he's taking ages to settle at bedtime, he's been spitting at me and having horrendous tantrums at home. He's leaving preschool next week and starting reception in September. His separation anxiety has gone into overdrive and he's extremely over emotional about everything. Nursery teachers have reassured me that it's all normal, and not to worry. I'm just on my bloody knees counting down the seconds till the end of term...! No advice but solidarity from another one in the trenches!

SlightlyUnhingedTapps Thu 30-Jun-16 21:37:30

I know it's not much help teacher. But I am so relieved to hear someone in a similar situation. Now you mention it. He's difficult going to bed. However he has been great at his school inductions. Which I didn't expect.

teacher54321 Thu 30-Jun-16 21:42:26

Ds is amazingly well behaved at nursery. When I told his keyworker about how he was at home she was speechless! Is yours a preschool or a nursery? The staff at our place are absolutely amazing, and as it's attached to a school, it's very structured. Ds struggled at his last place which wasn't and the leaders couldn't handle behaviour at all. Sounds like your ds's leaders can't control him?

SlightlyUnhingedTapps Thu 30-Jun-16 21:49:35

Ours is a preschool, but I really don't think they are very good at dealing with anything out of the ordinary.

3gorgeousgirlies Sat 02-Jul-16 22:53:17

My dd has refused to go to pre school for the last week. Said she's had enough of it. She's also been playing up abit which is unlike her.

BackforGood Sat 02-Jul-16 23:08:16

It is pretty common - lot of bad behaviour comes out due to anxiety - anxious to be starting school, but also anxious to be leaving Nursery. Plus there can be an element of having 'outgrown' a Nursery / Pre-school for some children. They develop a lot over just a few months as pre-schoolers, and sometimes are just 'ready' to move on.

MiaowTheCat Sun 03-Jul-16 11:54:56

DD1's definitely acting up because of anxiety about school - I don't think she doesn't want to go - she's desperate to start, but she's had it in her head that she can kind of run school alongside preschool and now she's realising she actually has to say goodbye to preschool and doesn't like that much!

Mner Sun 03-Jul-16 20:57:07

We're having exactly the same thing (DS 4.5, about to start school) - a nightmare at bed time, hitting whenever we say no to something, speaking back, won't listen, runs off... He is driving us round the bend.

He's desperate to go to school. I think it must be partly that he's 'ready', probably a little bit bored at preschool... He loves testing boundaries anyway, so

Urgh! I hate wishing the summer away but it feels a long way to September. And then I am worried as to how he's going to manage when he does get there - he had 0.5 a day last week and when I picked him up, he was in such a pickle of exhaustion after trying to behave all morning.

SlightlyUnhingedTapps Thu 07-Jul-16 20:33:04

It's all escalated a bit in the last few days. He had a school induction that went really well. But when it was time to leave he went into melt down. When i picked him up he was so distressed he was gulping for air. Then they began to tell me how his behaviour was inapproriate and unacceptable in front of him and about 10 other children. I didn't say anything, I just took my ds home. He spent 2 hrs telling me he was a bad boy and could never be good. Then yesterday I got a letter home cc'd tonthe school explaining how his behaviour had distressed the other children etc... and no apology was offered to his key worker who was very hurt by it all. They have now refused to take him to the school again have reduced his hours as they say he needs 1-2-1 supervision and they won't let him go on any activities outside of nursery like the walk next week. It all seems a bit harsh given a few weeks ago he was fine. I really want to tell them to stick it. Am I just being over protective?

teacher54321 Thu 07-Jul-16 21:53:10

Tell them to stick it. It doesn't sound to me like they have the slightest clue how to deal with his behaviour. (Which doesn't actually sound that awful-he got distressed at having to leave somewhere and kicked off-Ds did that today and was vile at pick up time). Do you have to send him there for the next couple of weeks?

teacher54321 Thu 07-Jul-16 21:53:38

Also-have they told him he's a bad boy? That's dreadful. You poor things.

MiaowTheCat Fri 08-Jul-16 09:43:50

I don't know if it'll help at all (even in terms of making you feel a bit better) but I got greeted with a list of bloody complaints about DD1 from one of the nursery staff (the one who openly dislikes her) the other day too. Apparently she'd hit a staff member which I was bloody horrified by - then the explanation of the incident was that a student was play fighting with DD1 and it went too far - which is a completely different bloody thing to what I was initially told!

You're not alone. DD1 is lively but is in no way a troublesome child like she's being painted out to be these last couple of weeks of term. I think everyone's knackered on all sides and ready for the break - which doesn't excuse any side of the equation but still.

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