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Dd confused about her emotions, says she doesn't know if she cares about me.

(11 Posts)
Slightlypanicked Thu 30-Jun-16 09:55:37

Dd is 7 and usually very empathetic and caring.
Her behaviour has changed lately and she seems to be taking her emotions very literally
I asked her if she thought something she had done wrong was funny and she said yes. So I said do you understand why that upset mum and it wasn't funny and she said yes but because she had laughed she wouldn't budge on that her initial reaction was to find it funny even though she knew it wasn't. (Should mention she laughs when she's nervous and what she had done wasn't really bad just a bit cheeky)

Yesterday she did something and I asked her to apologise and she didn't seem bothered at all so I said do you not care that you've upset mum? And she said she didn't know.

I had a conversation with her about it all and she ended up crying and saying she does love us but sometimes she doesn't always feel that she really cares about me and Dh.

She does care about us, she's always leaving little letters to say she loves me and she's usually very kind and loving but I'm a bit lost as how to explain to her that although she might not always feel like she cares that she does really because she loves us.
She was quite upset and worried that she didn't know if she cared about us bless her. I just told her that I'm sure she did care but it didn't mater because I loved her and cared about her enough for the both of us.

She's a real over thinking sensitive child so I just want advice really on how to talk to her about it or do I just leave it alone?

ApocalypseSlough Thu 30-Jun-16 10:04:34

That all sounds a bit intense and she was probably just uncomfortable or couldn't find the words. Don't overthink it.

Slightlypanicked Thu 30-Jun-16 10:11:47

Yeah, I just expected her to say yes and the she got all confused and I felt like I needed to talk to her because she looked upset. She's always been very good at talking about how she feels so seeing her look upset and confused worried me.
It's not just this she seems more disconnected than usual which I suppose is worrying me too.
I can't put my finger on it but something just feels off with her.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Thu 30-Jun-16 10:12:04

She is 7 and not perhaps able to verbalise her feelings. I would stop asking her about how she feels about you, she is telling you in her own way by leaving notes.

WellDoYaPunks Thu 30-Jun-16 10:15:44

That's very heavy for a 7 year old.
I have a very sensitive and empathetic 10 yo so used to this scenario.
I think it's useful to say, nobody's perfect, you're human and anger (or whatever) is a natural human emotion. You're growing and learning how to deal with your emotions.
Keep it bright and breezy and don't lend to much time or thought on dramatic statements

Slightlypanicked Thu 30-Jun-16 10:16:14

Yeah I'm not concerned at all how she feels about me I know I might not have worded it very well. I'm concerned that she's so worried and upset that she doesn't feel like she does if that makes any sense, I just wanted a way to reassure her is all

Slightlypanicked Thu 30-Jun-16 10:19:04

Thanks WellDoYa that sounds like a good idea. She's just so very sensitive and I don't know what to say at times. She over thinks things in detail and I try to explain it but sometimes I can't find the words myself.

ApocalypseSlough Thu 30-Jun-16 10:20:07

Praise the loving things she does. Brightly and breezy is definitely the way ahead. No more intense conversations- she doesn't have the vocabulary it maturity.

ScarlettDarling Thu 30-Jun-16 10:24:27

I agree with welldoya ,I think I'd just try to back away from the heavy conversations a bit. She's only 7, far too little to be analysing how she feels. I guess the truth is that she just takes you and her dad for granted, which at her age is how it should be. She knows you're both there, loving her unconditionally. She doesn't have to worry or think about it, it's just a fact. So, she's not always aware of 'caring' about you so much, because you're just always there!

Slightlypanicked Thu 30-Jun-16 10:31:21

Thanks yeah that makes sense. I think I forget how little she is sometimes because she is so mature abd sensutive. Ds is quite the opposite, he is happy with a hug now and then but he mostly just grunts at me and demands food but he's only 3 grin

Slightlypanicked Thu 30-Jun-16 10:32:00

And sensitive* sorry typing on my phone

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